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Pre-2008 Posts

Letter from a Pimp to the Teenage Girl He is Prostituting

Last March there was an article in the Stranger about the aggressive criminal prosecution of a teenager who was being prostituted.  Police and prosecutors claimed she engaged in “high risk behaviors,” carried a knife (I should hope so), and was in grave danger and likely to be raped.  Instead of getting her some help in the form of support from women, money, a place to live, a reason to hope, prosecutors figured the thing to do was lock her up for a year in the Echo Glen Children’s Center.  Evidently that is the trend here — to aggressively prosecute prostituted teenagers “for their own good.”  Never mind the many young-through-aging pieces of human excrement who seek out little girls like this to rape and molest– they walk.  Never mind the pimps the teenage girls are supporting.

In this week’s  Stranger, the reporter who wrote about this particular girl’s situation published a letter he was able to to obtain from the girl’s pimp, who is in jail on domestic violence charges.  The letter was originally published on SLOG, the Stranger’s blog.

How you doing babes?  I need you to do something for me.  SMILE.

Thanks.

Now I must get down to business with you.  I hope you know what I expect of you when the 20th comes around.  I expect for you to continue to handle yourself in a productive, professional fashion as if I was still there, because I am.  I’m still here.  Do not let these people tear us apart.  Every time they took you away from me, I was there smiling when you came back.  Now I expect the same from you and without a doubt in my mind, I know you will be.  I need you to be my better half and continue to hold me down like you always have.  I believe in you.  Here is the ultimate test.

Now I need you to switch and play my role for yourself so I’m going to give you the Dos & Don’ts that you need to follow and apply at all times.  With no exceptions or excuses.  Period.

Don’t ever run out of condoms.

Don’t consume any alcoholic beverages or ingest any form of drug or illegal substance in any way shape or form while at work or 3 hours before.

Don’t reckless [sic] eyeball or communicate in any way shape or form with any individuals of African descent.

Don’t ever get in a car with tinted windows you can’t see in.

Don’t ever double date with another girl.

Don’t ever get comfortable or close with any other females at work.

The letter goes on to tell the girl how to send the pimp her earnings while he’s in jail, and ends with these words:

Nothing has changed.  I need you to continue to be my better half.  I wish that I could be there for you in the flesh and I promise to be back before you think.  So hold me down like I know you can. Shine. 

In another letter, the pimp wrote:

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in life to become strong enough to fly.

Struggle with me and we’ll fly together.

-This is what you strive to obtain:
1) Money.
2) Power.
3) Respect.

We’re Bonnie and Clyde now. It’s me and you against the world.

I wonder if people realize how powerful words like this are in the ears of a troubled little girl who believes everyone has turned against her and she has nowhere to go.  I wonder if people understand the power of this level of mind and body control.  It is very much like religion, really– it’s all up to her.  All she has to do is be obedient, do things right, and she will SHINE.  She just has to follow the rules,  endure the “struggles,” and remain loyal and faithful, and then the pimp, in her eyes a powerful person, like God, like a parent, like a lover, will be proud of her.

Of interest to me is the stern admonitions not to get close to another girl.   Solidarity with another girl, or girls, might mean this little girl will begin to get strong, will begin to be empowered, might get funny ideas in her head about going out on her own, no more gravy train for the pimp.  She might even get free with the support of other girls.  It is of paramount concern, always, to the patriarchs that women be kept from bonding with one another, that their loyalties remain with men, whether fathers, male family members, church leaders, husbands, pimps.

Of course, if the girl disobeys or breaks the rules, she will be beaten by this man, who is in jail, again, for domestic violence, and it will be her own fault then.  She knew better. 

She is terrorized on every side by men.  What choices does she have, really?  She has the choice to trust her pimp and believe his rap, or the choice to be beaten by him.  She has the choice to go out on the street and possibly to be beaten, raped, killed, arrested, thrown in jail for a year.  Or she has the choice to  obey the pimp, play by his rules, and hope against hope she survives it and that he really means what he says in those letters he sends to her.

Meanwhile there all the men who prostitute her and little girls like her,  who don’t look back, who go on about their lives as though this little girl did not exist.

Heart

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Discussion

18 thoughts on “Letter from a Pimp to the Teenage Girl He is Prostituting

  1. “Instead of getting her some help in the form of support from women, money, a place to live, a reason to hope, prosecutors figured the thing to do was lock her up for a year in the Echo Glen Children’s Center.”

    Thats just it though Heart, that support is non-existent to very rare, maybe in the bigger cities, but not in the smaller and definately not in the rural [oh yea, there are teen prostitutes and pimps at truckstops and hotels and those rest stops too]

    and i know that sounds harsh, as far as how the system handled it and it IS, but too, take if from a former teen worker…especially with a ex-con [including one who knows the inside of county jails and has those connections] and especially in that she Was carrying a knife,

    if she Had of used force to defend herself against rape, SHE’D BE IN LOCK UP RIGHT NOW WITH HARD CORE WOMYN,

    who would, YES, RAPE HER TOO.

    I mean yea it isn’t pretty but sometimes the juve system is better than seeing these kids wind up dead, and many of them do, or hooked to meth/herion and once they are in, its near to impossible to get them out.

    There are a few organizations who work with street kids, but they often struggle with funding, lack of community support because still to this day, there is Such a huge denial of the numbers of kids in real trouble on the streets…and it doesn’t help when you have kids today who think its ‘trendy’ to hang out as if they are street kids and ‘spange’ and there are a lot of them, these kids are usually from the upper middle class who are ‘rebelling’,

    the ones you Will see on the streets hanging out in downtown malls and centers, and the problem with this is that people get desensitized and they think, that these kids are the norm…

    THEY ARE NOT. most street kids who have NO CHOICE do not hang out spanging and hanging out on skateboards and pooling around, Especially the young girls/womyn…

    they are too afraid of getting arrested and being sent back home, as many of them run away from abusive homes,
    the children’s homes sometimes are not any better, and are more like prisons, crammed full, etc and i know of horror cases of some of the homes, with the foster homes or the parent watchers, who also abuse these kids, because,

    its GOOD MONEY, yea, no joke, you’d be surprised at how many abusers go into foster care for not only help around the house [i’ve actually seen a case like this, this older woman, was foster parent of an African American girl who basically was her domestic slave and social services did nothing, NOTHING because it was better than what she had before] but they get some places, good money. More than what a mother would get to stay home and raise children [pet peeve of mine, it irks me that they’ll pay 1300 or more a month PER CHILD, the state will, yet to a mother who is a good mother, she has to BEG for a PITTANCE]

    NOTE: there are great foster parents out there who go double time in loving these kids and they are Saints, they are also, RARE, and usually very RARE for taking in teens.

    Many of these teens too, wind up pregnant and are in the shelters/or transitional housing…and the men hang out in those places, especially the gang lords, and prey on these young womyn, [that depends on region/locality, etc but it happens — i saw it all the time and Get this, yea, even in the transitional housing, there is prostitution going on, and That is in the Catholic Charities even, where I stayed for short time…they dont’ give a fuck though cuzz hell, as long as they get that little bit of rent….HUD is no better, what is left of HUD]

    and sometimes you will see, womyn working in the shelters as assistants, turning tricks on the side for that cash, seen that in Louisville…where i met many of the long term prostitutes on the heroin and meth and alcohol addictions…some though were teens.

    and the strip clubs hire them too, oh, yea they lie and say they don’t hire underage girls but they DO, they just give fake i.d.s when the Liquor Board comes in and if they get suspicious…usually its girls around 16 and 17, and especially in the smaller cities.

    You know Heart they arrest these womyn who have been trafficked o.k., who have been beaten, gang raped, held at knife point, starved, threatened, their families back home threatened, many of these young womyn are teens, and the cops, just let them go after time is served and they go right back to the taxi cabs, who are many times driven by members of the ‘mobs’ and ‘cartels’ that work them, and they are right back in…

    there are no shelters taking these womyn/girls in, because of safety concerns [dealing with the mob] AND A HUGE LACK OF AWARENESS,

    in Denver CO, there were 30 young womyn, trafficked from Korea, arrested last year, and every one of them was released and sent right back to their slave masters. The mass numbers of ‘massage parlors’ is one of the big laundrying places for trafficked womyn and in the backs of those city rags/publications and yes, even on Craigslist, these rich and not so rich in their homes who want threesomes, etc…

    well guess who they send?

    and many of the Johns, are Police Officers, Judges, Lawyers, Bankers, Teachers, etc…not just the ole skanky dirty ole man…picking his nose and holding on to his little bottle of Mad Dog,
    hell they can’t afford to hire prostitutes especially teen prostitutes, the rates for teens are much higher, etc.

    So yea, i mean it sucks, but i’d rather see her in there, than two years later, yanking that dirty needle between her toes and being forced to endure all sorts of torture.

    Tasha

    Posted by Tasha | June 8, 2007, 1:30 am
  2. Heart
    the more i read this letter the more i think he’s probably more than likely one of the ‘gang pimps’ by the language he uses…[pimps use different methods, psychology, etc and it comes across to me as if he and her have been working for a while, there’s other ‘rackets’ involved and the reference to Africans…

    and i would bet this is a strong possibility why they did lock her up for a year…i could be wrong but it sure sounds like it by the tone in the letter/email, etc.

    that could also be the reason he doesn’t want her talking to the other girls…is it girls under his wing or girls on the street, other ‘claims to turf’, etc…

    i would have to read more of the case but i would be willing to bet, anything and if its what i think it is then its more than just prostitution and tied into drug/gang cartel, which means too, if like she gets hooked up with a girl from a competitor then that can spell big trouble for her and him, if he owes money or if he’s hiding out or not liked, or in rival gang, etc…

    just by the use of some of the personal connotations, he uses, makes me suspect a bit, most pimps are in the drug cartel side of it too…

    as for striking out on her own, Doubt it seriously, ask any street worker and this is why the legalization of prostitution was allowed in Vegas and why many of the prostitutes fought for it, [though the brothel system is a prison in its own right] but the one lesson you learn on the streets if you are going to sell is that if alone, you Really risk being killed, and often it can be the other girls who will turn you in…

    its competition, and in some places its fierce if there is a huge drug/gang turf issue going on, and with the Maras and the #13s, etc. moving in, esp the Maras, its getting even more dangerous for girls/womyn to work alone. This includes the more high priced pimps/rackets, those who serve the higher clientele [and that can get more dangerous] which is why i suspect with that use of ‘professional’, thats not usually how a street pimp talks…

    who ever this man is, he’s into the more ‘organized’ of prostitution rackets. thats what it comes across as…could be wrong but it has that sense to it.

    Tasha

    Posted by Tasha | June 8, 2007, 3:04 am
  3. I’m in the middle of Female Sexual Slavery at the moment and it is so, so horrific. Just like what you have been describing Tasha. None of it is difficult to believe but at the same time I just cannot understand how men can do these things routinely to women. How can they? I find it hard to live with myself if I buy a chocolate bar that isn’t fair trade. How the hell can these men live with themselves after doing these beyond despicable things to women? How can they do these things and enjoy it?

    Posted by allecto | June 8, 2007, 10:11 am
  4. Allecto,

    They can do it to us and enjoy it because they hate us.

    Then, they require that in polite society, we never let on that we know how much they hate us.

    Posted by Mary Sunshine | June 8, 2007, 12:23 pm
  5. I posted this at their blog but since I think the core points could work well as a letter to the editor for most media coverage of this subject I hope you don’t mind the repost here.

    “Thank you, Jonah, for publishing this. The average age of entry into prostitution is an abominably low 12-years-old in the USA and most people have been lied to about happy hookers for so long they can’t see the ugly truth.

    I’d like to point out that the reason both the pimp and the teen serial rape victim exist in the first place is because everyday men like our friends, family and co-workers are willing to pay oodles of their hard-earned cash to rape destitute people. Men have fetishized vulnerability such that preying on easy targets like kids and women who are drunk/drugged, homeless, racial minorities, and pimped is socially accepted.

    Oh people say it isn’t accepted, but a look at The Stranger’s prostitution pages shows one of a world’s worth of social sites where boys learn their destructive sense of entitlement to command sex at will from disadvantaged people (teen girls, women, minorities, transgendereds). To get rid of the pimps we have to reduce men’s demands for economically coerced sex, which is rape just as all coerced sex is by definition.”

    Posted by Sam | June 8, 2007, 6:16 pm
  6. Wow, Sam, great comment!

    Right on time, too. In general, I can’t stand the Stranger. I was thinking about blogging yesterday in response to a really dumb column by Dan Savage (who I can’t stand). But I decided not to give that particular project my energy in the end.

    Heart

    Posted by womensspace | June 8, 2007, 6:49 pm
  7. Good post and good points everyone.

    “It is very much like religion, really– it’s all up to her. All she has to do is be obedient, do things right, and she will SHINE. She just has to follow the rules, endure the “struggles,” and remain loyal and faithful, and then the pimp, in her eyes a powerful person, like God, like a parent, like a lover, will be proud of her.”

    It’s interesting – this structure of discourse / coercion is so often used to get people to do things in general, believe in authorities, feel guilty about realizing they are in fact trapped, etc. Chilling.

    Posted by profacero | June 8, 2007, 9:15 pm
  8. Also – re Tasha’s comments – I’m assuming that if she were on the street (as prisoners say, it means not in jail) he could put a hit out on her. Here that would cost about $100 which I’m sure he could scam up from inside jail. Her best bet is to go incognito when she gets out, not be where she can be recognized. This kind of thing happens a lot.

    Posted by profacero | June 8, 2007, 9:38 pm
  9. “I’m in the middle of Female Sexual Slavery at the moment and it is so, so horrific. Just like what you have been describing Tasha. None of it is difficult to believe but at the same time I just cannot understand how men can do these things routinely to women. How can they? I find it hard to live with myself if I buy a chocolate bar that isn’t fair trade. How the hell can these men live with themselves after doing these beyond despicable things to women? How can they do these things and enjoy it?”

    Seriously good questions

    Posted by Kiuku | June 8, 2007, 9:59 pm
  10. They live with themselves because they think what they’ve done is good – funny – even something to be proud of – unless of course it is done to one of “their” women.

    …I wish Tasha had a blog, I’ll bet it would be good.

    Posted by profacero | June 8, 2007, 11:30 pm
  11. I second the call for Tasha to get a blog.

    Yes, Mary Sunshine, men do hate us. And there is no possible way that any man who could do these things and enjoy them can see women as human.

    Posted by allecto | June 9, 2007, 7:04 am
  12. first thank you for the support, i do have a blog actually but its a working out all my anger/rage from child sex abuse [from biomom], homelessness, rape, domestic violence [leaving home at 16–having to resort to what i call prostitution without the pimp BUT, i came so close, to being trapped in that…and i lived with womyn who did have pimps, who were beaten, raped, run over, worked in bars that some of the waitresses went over to strip industry so i had friends in that industry and i almost got sucked into that…in other words,
    i was in it, but i was one of the lucky ones…i escaped a lot of the entrapment, but barely, as far as pimp/cartels go, but i did enough damage on my own…to survive, so, yea i know the industry from the gutter level and why i don’t hesitate to speak out,
    but yea, my blog is a bit violent as its a ‘working out’ cuzz i can’t afford therapy and well whatever…i have years of violence to work through….but i may start another blog, just to create awareness and list of support groups [one who i have been in contact with, they helped me, at one of the low points i had, and i still refer to them in dealing with detachment, which i have issues big time with]
    but, i did want to post this,
    for those of you, who confront the prostitution supporters/porn apologetics, i had this in file and i forgot about it,
    this is a testimony, FROM A FORMER PIMP,
    who works with the Coalition for the Homeless now, AGAINST PROSTITUTION,
    his testimony is powerful — SOME TRIGGERS IF YOU’VE WORKED THE INDUSTRY,
    but his testimony is powerful because tells it like it is, as a former PIMP, and he doesn’t hide the reality, he’s not proud of it, but he’s not sugar coating the reality of violence…
    and there is included a former sex worker who also works to help womyn leave the industry who is a feminist, in the article,
    its POWERFUL, i can’t paste it here due to needed permission,
    but i’m pasting the link,
    he is very brutally honest, about the violence and the male violence. so, to blast the lies and myths, of the fallacy of ‘its just a job’ crap being spewed out there, here it is

    http://www.lipmagazine.org/articles/featlydersen_pimps.htm

    and i can tell you, from what i know, ok, personally, what he says, is truth…cuzz i have seen it.
    one of my friends, her pimp ran over her, when she refused a client and she wanted out, he told her he understood, took her for a drive, got her in the country, threw her out of the car and ran her over…
    her entire left side, is paralyzed, her face on the left is scarred and disfigured, she had four children,
    she was my roommate in one of the shelters, she was African American…[and i bring this up because i’ve read a few blogs by African American womyn who like many White womyn think that prostitution is like this empowered goddess trip…]
    it isn’t, thats the biggest fucking lie out there…and ITS RACIST AS HELL,
    that whole industry is MISOGYNIST, RACIST AND CLASSIST AS HELL…
    so what he says, i’ve seen, seen the broken bodies and broken womyn, i’ve held them in my arms and we’ve cried together…
    and i know the lies, the womyn caught up in that tell themselves, i’ve done it,
    its adaptation, you adapt, some yes, there is that affirmation, and i will tell you, a lot of that is from history of abuse, neglect, some of it is low self-esteem…
    because the myth, is sold, like the article above, and sure, there is that segment that is the high end…but even there, there is damage…maybe not like on the street level,
    but it always, eventually, winds up that way. always…because the pretty womyn who work the high end, when the ageism hits, and they dont fit the demand of the market, down the ladder they go,
    and thats when after the addiction [cuzz there is that addiction element, for some] of years of that, of only knowing that…cuzz what it does to you on inside, many womyn will go to desparate measures, to get that affirmation…
    cuzz leaving the industry, is extremely hard, and for trafficked womyn, or for the ones hooked on drugs or the lower income,
    its impossible to leave, most wind up dead.
    i was lucky, just fucking lucky…not special, not smart, just lucky, barely…by the skim of my ass….almost killed twice, he’s in prison…only reason i am here,
    he got arrested, he was about to turn me out, he knew my past, an ex-con who was extremely violent, his brother in law pimped out his sister…he was hooked on meth and i was lucky, escaped him,
    and escaped a pimp in Louisville…just lucky.
    but i know so many, who weren’t lucky, who aren’t lucky, so i will keep screaming,
    and yea, i’m going to say something,
    I REALLY DO HATE, THE WOMEN, WHO ARE PRO-PORN AND PRO-PROSTITUTION,
    CUZZ YOU HOLD THE DOORS SHUT, WHILE THE JOHNS RAPE AND THE PIMPS BEAT AND THE CARTELS KIDNAP,
    YOU PROP UP THAT VIOLENCE, YOU PROP UP THE ECONOMIC SYSTEM THAT THRIVES ON THE EXPLOITATION OF WOMYN
    AND YES
    I HATE YOU.
    tasha

    Posted by Tasha | June 17, 2007, 5:46 am
  13. oh one more thing [and i know Heart i shouldn’t hate, but right now, i’m at a low point and all i feel right now for the supporters and apologetics is Hate
    BUT I HAVE A PROPOSITION, TO THE APOLOGISTS OF THAT INDUSTRY,
    hey, if its so great, then you can pay for my therapy and my children’s therapy cuzz due to all the detachment and ptsd shit i deal with every fucking day now…
    due to the johns and violence,
    they have been effected too,
    so if its such a great industry and empowering and all that crap, well hey,
    therapy is about 200 an hour…and there isn’t a free ex-sex industry worker support group in the city where i’m at cuzz
    like you got so many ‘pro-sex industry/porn’ people out there that DOWNPLAY AND DENY THE TRUTH, THE VIOLENCE, THE REALITY…
    and the whole sex worker’s rights ‘myth’, is just that, another lie…
    one more thing, and its important,
    i’ve done both, the tricks, and suffered the domestic violence,
    and let me tell you something, the SIMILARITES, ARE THERE…
    ANY TIME A MAN HOLDS ECONOMIC POWER OVER YOU AND COERCES YOU TO FUCK HIM,
    ITS PAID RAPE…
    IF HE USES HIS FISTS, ITS RAPE
    DOESN’T MATTER IF HE’S THE JOHN, OR THE SPOUSE, OR THE PARTNER…
    ITS RAPE.
    AND THE EFFECTS, ARE THE SAME.
    years of that you die inside, you detach, your soul dies, hell it doesn’t take years…
    but you get my point. AND IT NEEDS TO BE SAID…
    there is this fallacy that rape in domestic violence isn’t rape, that if a spouse coerces you, intimidates you, beats you, it isn’t rape
    IT IS. and it doesn’t matter if you have a job, if he threatens to bankrupt you, and coerces you, or forces you,
    ITS RAPE.
    and there is the similarity, i did work that out, the link and the connection and why the triggers for me, go back and forth between the man who beat me and raped me and the johns…the men, from age of 16, i slept with to have a roof over my head…
    or to have food,
    its the same…
    BECAUSE ITS VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMYN,
    SO, TAKE IT FROM A WOMAN HERE, WHO IS AT HER WITS END,
    AND I AM NOT A WEAK PERSON, NOT AT ALL…THE SHIT, I WADE THROUGH…TO HANG ON, TO HANG ON TO JUST A SHRED OF WANTING TO WAKE UP ON SOME DAYS…
    and EVERY FACE, OF EVERY WOMAN, WHO I KNOW, WHO I KNEW, IN THE INDUSTRY, STRIPPING AND PROSTITUTION,
    I CAN STILL SMELL THEM…SEE THEIR FACES, THEIR EYES, LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY
    NONE OF THEM, WANTED TO DO THAT WORK,
    NONE OF THEM. SOME WERE FORCED, SOME WERE IN NEED FINANCIALLY, ALMOST EVERY SINGLE ONE, HAD HISTORY OF ABUSE, LIKE I DID…
    AND YES, MANY IN THE INDUSTRY, LIE TO THEMSELVES…HOW DO I KNOW
    I LIED TO MYSELF FOR YEARS, SAID CUZZ THERE WASN’T A PIMP OR THAT I WASN’T LIKE ON A CORNER IT WASN’T PROSTITUTION…
    WE ALL LIE…TO AVOID THAT STIGMA ESPECIALLY,
    SOME TIMES ITS TO TAKE BACK, A SELF ABUSE [IN MY CASE IT WAS BOTH]
    BUT LYING, IS A PART OF IT…SO,
    WHEN YOU HEAR, A WOMAN SAY,
    OH I DO IT CUZZ ITS EMPOWERING…
    DON’T BE SO QUICK TO BELIEVE HER. CUZZ WE SAY ALL KINDS OF THINGS TO OURSELVES,
    TO AVOID, THE TRUTH, ESP ABOUT THE VIOLENCE, BECAUSE IT HURTS…AND YOU WILL DO, WHATEVER POSSIBLE,
    TO AVOID FACING THAT PAIN.
    and thats WHAT VIOLENCE DOES TO YOU…I CAN’T JUST SAY MALE VIOLENCE HERE CUZZ MINE STARTED OUT, BY A WOMAN.
    so…like the pimp says,
    THE SYSTEM HAS TO CHANGE.
    Tasha

    Posted by Tasha | June 17, 2007, 6:09 am
  14. Tasha,

    You are right. And I’m right there beside you. You said:

    “I REALLY DO HATE, THE WOMEN, WHO ARE PRO-PORN AND PRO-PROSTITUTION”

    I hate them too.

    They do immeasurable damage to women.

    love, Mary

    Posted by Mary Sunshine | June 17, 2007, 2:07 pm
  15. Hello, I stumbled upon this blog while searching news articles. After reading the blog, as well as, your readers comments, I felt compelled to write.

    I am the Founder and Exec. Director of Transitions Global. Our organization builds new lives for survivors of sex trafficking. We have been working overseas, but we have recently begun work to develop appropriate services for American girls that have been sexually trafficked.

    I am wondering if anyone that has been trafficked, prostituted, or has received services can give us some feedback on what was helpful, what was hurtful, and what works/doesn’t work? We are developing and amazing protected home for girls to come and heal and get their lives back. Any assistance, help, or advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

    We will protect identities and information in a confidential and respectful way. You can find our website at http://www.transitionsglobal.org or our overseas work at http://www.transitionscambodia.org . Thank you for your tackling of this important issue.

    James

    Posted by James Pond | October 6, 2008, 12:33 am
  16. I DONT CARE HOW WEEK OR WORTHLESS ONE MIGHT THINK THEY ARE I WOULD NEVER LET A MAN SCARE ME HIT ME TOUCH ME OR SPEEK TO ME IN ANY WAY I WOULD NOT APROVE OF MY FOTHER CHEETED ON MY MOTHER AND I TOLD HER LETS LEAVE I WAS 7 SHE DIDNT LEAVE SHE STAYED AND HAD MORE KIDS 6 MORE AND NOW 20 YEARS LATER I FORCED HER TO LEAVE I AM STRONG IN SOME WAYS AND WEEK IN OTHERES BUT I DONT CARE HOW SCARED OR HOW MUCH I LOVE SOME ONE AND WHAT PROMISES THEY MAKE ME I NEED TO SEE ACTION NOT PROMISES AND NOTHING SCARES ME MORE THEN NOT HAVEING THE BALLS TO RUN AWAY OR FACE THE FIRE WITH FIRE I HAVE A GUN IN MY PURSE MY CAR MY HOUSE ANY MAN THAT THINKS HE IS GOING TO ABUSE ME IS OUT OF THERE MIND I WONT EVEN THINK TWICE ABOUT POOLIN THE TRIGER

    WOMEN WE NEED TO BE STRONG AND STAND ARE GROUND WE ARE SRONGER THEN MEN WE DONT NEED THEM THEY NEED US THERE NEEDY THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH WE DO AS WOMEN WE ARE AMAZING MEN ARE ONLY AN ASSET FOR US NOT A BOSS OR RULER NOT UNLESS WE ALOW THEM TO BE THERE ARE SOME WONDERFUL MEN OUT THERE BUT THERE ARE A TON OF SHIT MEN AOUT THERE

    SOME MEN CHOSE TO BE ASHOLES JUST BECAUSE MOST HAVE SEEN THERE FATHERS GROWING UP AND PICKED UP ON IT AND GOT COUGHT UP IN THE VISHUSE CYCLE

    A PERSONS CHILD HOOD IS EVERYTHING IT MAKES WHO THE CHILD IS THATS WHY WHEN YOU GO SEE A SHRINK THE FIRST THING THEY ASK IS TELL ME ABOUT YOUR CHILD HOOD

    BECAUSE THATS WHERE THERE SOURSE OF WHAT MAKES YOU AND WHO YOU ARE STARTED AND WAS CREATED.

    SEEING WHAT MY FATHER DID TO MY MOTHER MADE ME COLD TO MEN AND THEY CANT GET MUCH BY ME

    I DONT HATE MEN I HAVE A BOYFRIEND BUT I KEEP HIM IN CHECK I TALK TO HIM THE WAY A PIMP WOULD TALK TO ME IF HE ATEMPTS TO TREAT ME THAT WAY

    MY FAVORITE SAYING IS MONEKY SEE MONKEY DO I MIRROR MY MAN WE HAVE BIN TOGETHER FOR 9 YRS I RESPECT HIM HE RESPECTS ME IF HE DISRESPECTS ME I DONT EVEN BOTHER TALKING ANYMORE AND WAISTING MY BREATH I JUST WALK AWAY HE KNOWS HE IS WRONG AND COOLS OF AND COMES RUNING BACK HE IS MY BESTFRIEND AND I TREAT HIM NO DIFFRENT THEN MY GIRLFRIENDS I DONT PUT HIM ON A BEDISTAL HE IS NOT GOD HE IS MY BEST FRIEND AND LOVER EQUALS THATS THE ONLY WAY I WILL ALOW IT PEOPLE ALOW THERE LIVES TO BE WHAT IT IS IF YOUR IN A BAD SITUATION NO ONE CAN HELP YOU UNLES YOU WANT TO HELP YOURSELF FIRST IF YOU WANT IT ITS THERE YOU HOLD THE POWERE TO YOUR LIFE YOUR LIFE IS LIKE A MOVIE AND YOU ARE THE STAR OF THE MOVIE AND THE DIRECTOR WHAT IS YOUR MOVIE GOING TO LOOK LIKE! LOTS OF LOVE FOR EVERYONE AND STAY SAFE! ;)

    Posted by kim | November 25, 2008, 4:21 am
  17. I have recently been the victim of some very crazy stuff. I went to a chilis restaurant several months ago to meet a friend and my friend cancelled on me. I was eating a really large appatizer made up of my 3 favorite things. I ate very little and decided that if there was anyone that the bartender thought would eat my food even though I ate off the plate, she could give it to them. There was a man sitting across the bar that took it and asked me if I wanted a drink. At first I refused but after a couple of drinks I decided to sit and talk to him. By the end of the night I opened up to him about all of my hopes and fears and problems. He listened intently to that and my dreams of opening a club one day.

    We dated for a few weeks and then he took me one day to my favorite restaurant and told me that he want to open a club too and the only way I could be his partner and come up with my portion of the downpayment was to dance. I was angry about it but told him I would think about it anyway. He convinced me to quit my good job in insurance to start dancing full time and even doing a few things on the side for money. He told me that it was no different than me having “bootie calls” because then I am giving it up to someone that I don’t care about for free. He also convinced me that all of this would happen in 2010 and that I would only be upset with the situation for a year to be happy the rest of my life.

    I have to admit he painted a pretty picture of something very ugly. He also has investment properties and told me that he would give me a condo to stay in for free and it would take a little over a month to get ready and he wanted me to stay in his house in the meantime. I put in notice at work and decided to persue it. I had strong opinions of dancing before that and was sure that all of the woman that did that were whores.

    One of the rules to our money making persuit was that I could not drink while working. While I understood the logic that went into that, it was very difficult to get naked in front of people I don’t know without being under the influence of something. I lied to him about drinking while working until I was forced to admit it when I was attacked and raped about 5 weeks later.

    The whole time he had me feeling like I was his woman, partner, lover, and friend. He kept talking to me like I was the most important thing in his life. After finding out that I was drinking, he told me he wanted to abor t the plan and I begged him not to. I didn’t want him to think I was a failure so I told him I could control the drinking. I was fired from a lot of different clubs for conflicts with girls and other things and wasn’t making much money.

    After getting fired from several clubs, having several nights that I didn’t make any money, and leaving a few clubs that sucked by choice, he decided it wasn’t going to work. By then he convinced me that he had deep feelings and didn’t want me to move out into the condo that he had because he wanted me to stay with him. When the final thing happened and it had been months of him supporting me and not bringing in enough cash, he told me that he wanted me to go ahead and move out into an apartment, not the condo he promised.

    I had the money at the time to do it, but was very hurt because I thought that I was more than a paycheck to him. He played me like a guittar, me, a modest person who never believed in any of those things.

    This man is a master manipulator. Woman need to be informed and beware of the warning signs. He also isolated me from friends and wouldn’t let me talk to black men in the club because he was convinced that most of them are pimps.

    Looking at all this in hindsight, if I had been better informed I would not have believed him. He was around my children and great with them and showed lots of signs of being a great person that was just a very motivated go getter. He has investment properties and business that are sound but decided to prey on me in my weekness. He convinced me that he loved me and wanted the best for me but that he loved me because of my strong drive and ambition to make our plan happen.

    This sucked me in because then everytime something went wrong, I didn’t want to admit it. Especially drinking at the club because I promised I wouldn’t. This is his fault and to this day he tells me that not only was I raped but I didn’t succeed because of the drinking and that I ruined what I had.

    Unreal I didn’t see it.

    Posted by Vanessa | February 13, 2009, 3:27 am

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  1. Pingback: On Coercion « Professor Zero - June 8, 2007

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