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Pre-2008 Posts

Loudmouths, Vampires, White-Washed Sepulchres, Empty Tombs

empty-tomb.jpg 

It is an “I’ve had it” kind of a day and appropriate therefore to the spirit of Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, and the Lenten season which is now upon us, a time of introspection and casting off oppressions of various kinds for those of us with connections to Christianity, whatever they might be.

I’ve had it this morning with the way so many men seem incapable of carefully reading posts and comments and commenting intelligently thereon.  I have had it with the way so many male-born types think women owe them our lives, our attention, our care, our nurturing, our kindness and compassion, even here online, even when we have never once laid eyes on them.  I have especially had it with the blind arrogance and misogyny of religious men.  Following are examples of things with which it I have had.

In response to the John Petroski/”Rape Only Hurts If You Fight It” thread,  a male passer-by attempted to comment as follows:

If freedom of speech isn’t the freedom to say things that some people find offensive, it’s meaningless.

This is NOT North Korea. This is NOT China. You do NOT get to put people in jail for saying things you don’t like.

If you don’t like the ideas he’s putting forth, put forth better ideas of your own. Calling for him to be silenced by force is fascistic.

Can this guy even read?  Where is his mind?  His and others’, lots of male others, who have attempted to comment here similarly.  Who here has called for John Petroski or anyone else to be “silenced by force”?  Where are the hordes of policewomen crawling out of this guy’s computer screen from my blog in the search for John Petroski, warrants and handcufffs in  hand, determined to “send him to jail” for “saying things we don’t like.”  How is it that these guys make this preposterous leap with such predictable regularity?

What is of more concern, though, is that this guy doesn’t know, or doesn’t care, that indeed, various civil authorities in the United States DO send people to jail for saying things they don’t like.  In the age of Homeland Security under the Bush regime, in particular, the U.S. IS like China and Korea.  Then again, it always has been this way for certain kinds of people  who say certain kinds of things, for political activists and dissenters, people like the Black Panthers, like members of the American Indian Movement, like Martin Luther King and others in the Civil Rights movement, like Emma Goldman,  like Alice Paul, Susan B. Anthony, Mumia Abu-Jamal,  School of America’s 16, like Marilyn Buck, like Helen Woodson, like Leonard Peltier, like the Cuban Five, like Dorothy Day,  like a whole host of people going back centuries now.  But no, so far as this guy is concerned, women objecting to a horrifying essay about rape, which refers to why rape is good for ugly women, which confuses rape with “sexual intercourse” and asserts that it only hurts if women resist it are the rough equivalent of real life fascists bent on putting the essayist in jail.  Right.

In the category of male-born types who believe they are entitled to the love, devotion, care, nurturing, care-giving, unending patience, hugs and kisses, and, in general, the Big Tit of All Women Everywhere, there is someone I will not name who, after having preyed upon a very long list of very young feminist and lesbian women over many years now, after having deceived, manipulated, and exploited many, many women in various venues and having caused them real-life difficulties of many kinds, all the while advancing a bizarre and self-serving version of “radical feminism,” come to find out, blames feminist women — including feminist women this person has never once spoken to, seen, encountered or engaged with in real life — for this person’s state of impending homelessness, joblessness, theoretical doom,  and overall foul mood and depression.   It’s all feminist women’s fault.  Feminist women are to blame.  Feminist women are the powerful people in the earth after all; they run the nations, the corporations, the banks, the religious institutions, the institutions of science and medicine.   They are the ones who, even though they are basically strangers to this person, have been able to destroy this person’s life.  Hell hath no fury like a male-born scorned.

Finally, we have the guy who e-mailed me yesterday to break it down to me that I have become a “reproach to the gospel:

I’m so sorry to see that you have become a very sad individual. Years ago I bought my wife a subscription to [my publication] because you produced some very profitable material for Christian women to read, and ever since your fall into sin we have sadly watched you steadily decline. Cheryl, your in complete rebellion against God, and I don’t believe its even necessary to quote scripture passages – you know. However, I’m afraid your sin has completely blinded your eyes and clouded your mind to what is true. Your unfortunate experience has brought you to hate God’s order and love your own [will worship]. Cheryl you will not win the fight, because it’s not against man, sexism, tyrannical control, etc. – it’s against God. You have become a great reproach to the Gospel. Repent while God has still graciously given you space to do so. Cheryl, God has given you so much, please don’t continue to defy Him…

Such a paragon of courage this guy is as well; his e-mail is anonymous.  He signs it, “His Servant.”

First of all, who invited you into my e-mail box, “His Servant”?  I  don’t know you.  You are some white, heterosexual, conservative Christian,  male stranger, and my experience with white, heterosexual, conservative Christian,  male strangers is not good, to be understated about it.

Nevertheless, here is a clue for you.  I am no “reproach” to any legitimate “gospel,” neither do I “hate” any legitimate God’s “order.” I am, however,  a dedicated and committed reproach to arrogant patriarchs like you, and to “orders” and deities men like you have invented out of whole cloth, by way of which you have made and continue to make life a living hell for countless numbers of women, children, creatures.  Neither did I “fall into sin.” I came to my senses.  I came into the light.  I’d had enough.   I gathered my courage and my wits about me, I summoned all the strength that I had, and I walked away from a decades-long house of horrors in the form of an abusive marriage men like you think women ought to devote their entire lives to, because why?  Because that makes men’s lives easier, that makes your life easier,  because that allows men like you to control women, and children, and creatures, and the earth, because you believe you deserve to control us, that somehow you are deserving of commanding a house full of doting, smiling servants.  You somehow believe we deserve no more  than what you have decided to give to us.  The gasconading self-importance stuns.  Anyway, bud, you’re wrong.  And I am going to devote the rest of my life to making sure everybody knows the precise nature of your wrong and how very wrong you are, you and all of your brethren, who wouldn’t know love, or devotion, or spirituality, or the divine, if you encountered them near an empty tomb early on a Sunday morning.  I believe you’d be looking around, wondering what was up with all the women hanging around there and why they weren’t at home attending to their wifely duties, all the while completely missing the person you believe you know and serve.

I don’t know what random, vague,  “unfortunate experience” you might be alluding to that I had, but here’s what’s true. I was targeted and attacked for destruction by very powerful, in some cases very affluent, white, heterosexual men just like you who made it their — your — business to cause me, my many children, my creatures, and my publication great and lasting harm.   I will defy the “God” men like you have created in your own image — because make no mistake, that is the deity  you worship, a deity who bears no relationship to the historic Jesus, a bloodthirsty male who thinks like you and looks like you and who has authorized genocide and unending atrocities against women and children — with my last breath.

And make no mistake.  I not only will “win” this fight I’m engaged in, I already have, just by taking up the battle.  Just as every woman wins just by taking up the battle.   So back way off.  I spent way too many years of my life caring what men like you thought.  That’s history now.  I have moved severely on.

Heart

Discussion

22 thoughts on “Loudmouths, Vampires, White-Washed Sepulchres, Empty Tombs

  1. You are preaching today sister. LOL! Fuck those MRA, especially that last coward. Talking to you like he knows you are something. If he “knew” you he would not be so disrespectful.

    Posted by chasingmoksha | February 21, 2007, 7:50 pm
  2. hammer. nail. head.

    Posted by Faith | February 21, 2007, 9:06 pm
  3. I just watched Jesus Camp the other day. Between that experience and reading the multitude of anti-female propaganda which is so openly spewed in various blogs, I’m truly saddened by how so many people can be so unbelievably ignorant.

    Guess what, “His Servant”? God doesn’t like judgemental people. God doesn’t like those who go around and point fingers, never turning their provinicial gaze on their own souls. If you are a real Christian, as you so sanctimoniously claim, you would know this – and I wouldn’t need to reference scripture for you to remember it.

    Posted by gingermiss | February 21, 2007, 9:26 pm
  4. Speakin truth to power; who can stand a uppity woman?
    Heart, I have a religious woman in the shelter I work at that has left a man like the one that signed “His Servant”. I have been struggling to help her see that his control issues are hidden under a blanket of religious privilege. How did you figure this out? What reading do you recommend? I am trying not to step on her christian toes and make her pull away.
    You have really helped me understand better the oppression of the christian women I work with. It can be very frustrating to listen to them go on about “the headship”, “submission” etc. It is hard to understand how a woman can accept that she is a lesser being than a male, and that her “God” whom she sees as just and loving condones this.

    Posted by peonista | February 21, 2007, 10:12 pm
  5. Right on, chasingmoksha, gingermiss and Faith. The arrogance never fails to amaze me. I will know I have truly got past it all when I stop being amazed! Any time I get an e-mail from some dood who talks about having subscribed to my publication “for his wife,” I know it’s not going to be good. It’s creepy that it just goes on and on though. It’s coming up on 13 years since my excommunication and they are still waiting for me to “repent.”

    Heart

    Posted by womensspace | February 21, 2007, 10:15 pm
  6. Hi Heart,
    I don’t have anything useful of substance to add, but it seemed like a good time to just say thank you for hanging in there and trying to be a force of good in the world. None of us are perfect, but you are a lot closer than the trolls!

    All the best,
    Ann

    Posted by Ann Bartow | February 21, 2007, 10:18 pm
  7. ” I have had it with the way so many male-born types think women owe them our lives, our attention, our care, our nurturing, our kindness and compassion, even here online, even when we have never once laid eyes on them.”
    This why I do not participate in catering to the needs of men. I know lesbians have been seperated from the Feminist fight for some time, but as far as I’m concerned, my stand for equality is loud and clear.
    I love your blog! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one thinking.

    Posted by hurricanecandice | February 21, 2007, 10:26 pm
  8. The ‘sweet-talking’ of that second guy is so familiar.

    Peonista, I don’t know if I’ve got anything useful to say regards your friend, but I know what opened my eyes to the ‘imperfections’ of my gospel was the bigotry and hate speech I encountered so often among the members. Not only was it serious enough to break through the ‘our leaders are always right’ brainwashing, but it contradicted the principles of the gospel as I understood them.
    Jesus – who revoked the ‘old’ laws – didn’t teach a class system. All his actions and teachings effectively destroyed the hierarchies the jews were familiar with.
    When someone uses scripture to excuse hate speech or action, there is usually a principle from the New Testament that is being ignored. I found that by focussing more on the principles Jesus taught that I could counter much of the bigotry in my own mind – because it was based either on the old laws, or on flawed human interpretation.

    I’ve come lat-ish in life to feminism, because it was so heavily discouraged by my church and until I kinda stumbled into a collection of feminist blogs, I had no idea that there were other people who thought about things the same way I did.
    All those people independently coming to similar conclusions goes a long way to convincing me of their rightness, even in the face of a church that still regards feminism as dangerous.

    Heart – thankyou for keeping going as you do. There are many who need a rock in the ocean when the storm rages.

    Posted by Sophie | February 21, 2007, 10:44 pm
  9. Hey, peonista, good on you for the work you are doing with women being abused by fundamentalist men. You’re so right, it’s difficult to reach them; they are usually scared to death that they will lose their family, their church, their relationship with God, and most of the time they are thinking what has happened to them is “God’s will”and if they’d been better wives, it wouldn’t have happened.

    There are books out there for conservative Christians with abusive husbands, but, I don’t know, so often there is too much of the hair of the dog that bit them, you know? Too much referencing scriptures, too much scrounging and scraping to find verses of scripture that affirm women’s humanity (there aren’t many!), too much that is triggering. The book that spoke to me when I left my second ex was not a Christian book, but it is EXCELLENT: Getting Free: You Can End Abuse and Take Back Your Life by Ginny NiCarthy. I read and read and re-read that book. I have given that book to many, many women through the years. It is common sense, it is smart, it is above all respectful and affirming and does not denigrate religion, something that gets in the way when you are working with fundamentalist women.

    The best booklet on DV I have come across which is published by a Christian organization is Now That the Silence is Broken: The Next Step, A Revised, Updated Handbook on Domestic and Sexual Abuse for Clergy, Religious Counselors, Lay Workers, and Religious Community Professionals, published in 2002 by The Committee on the Status of Women, The Office of Women in Mission and Ministry, The Episcopal Church Center, 815 Second Avenue, New York, NY 10017. This is a GREAT resource, and you can probably get other really good resources if you contact this same office.

    Religious women, like all women in battering relationships, don’t leave until they are ready and it’s hard standing by and watching all they have to suffer; the really hard thing with religious women is, they often have to leave two batterers: their ex and their abusive religious community as well. 😦

    Thanks, Ann and Hurricane Candice!

    Heart

    Posted by womensspace | February 21, 2007, 10:55 pm
  10. Good on you, Heart!!!

    Keep speaking Truth; it annoys the heck out of the Old-Boys’-Club-sanctioned rapists and slave-owners. I firmly believe in giving no aid or comfort to the enemy, and to the pseudo-religious, pathologically sanctimonious, ‘cook-my-food-and-kiss-my-dick’ types, I just say, ‘Why, I’d be more than happy to kiss your food and cook your dick any time…’

    I’m thinking tabasco-marinated, chile-stuffed shish-kibab on the old hibachi…

    May Kurukulla, Kali, Durga and Oya Bless You!

    Posted by Akkarri JewelBloodTurtle | February 21, 2007, 10:59 pm
  11. Really good words, Sophie; I love what you say about Jesus’s opposition to hierarchy. YES. Of course, conservative Christians turned that on its head long ago. Argh. One advantage those of us out of fundamentalism have when we do become feminists is, we have seen unapologetic patriarchy up close and personal and so intimately that feminism really rings for us. We don’t need any convincing.

    Here is something from that booklet I referred to that I posted to my boards a while back and just loved. It sure applies to the way feminist women took me in and supported me when I left my ex.

    I was hungry and you gave me bread.
    I was thirsty and you gave me drink.
    I was a stranger and you welcomed me.
    I was naked and you clothed me.
    I was sick and you visited me.
    You came to me.
    I was raped and you stood by me.
    I was beaten and you sheltered me.
    I was harassed and you helped me act.
    I was abused and you intervened.
    I was in pain and you comforted me.
    I was bleeding and you stanched my wound.
    I was orphaned and you mothered me.
    I was alone and you took my hand.
    I was unworthy and you believed in me.
    I was victimized and you empowered me.
    I was confused and you brought me insight.
    I was silent and you listened to me.
    I was seeking and you searched with me.
    I was knocking and you opened the door.

    Heart

    Posted by womensspace | February 21, 2007, 11:00 pm
  12. I came through here from “the havens” where I went to answer a comment on my blog…and I can’t leave without saying something but the only thing that comes to mind is: “WOW!”

    This is GREAT!

    I am 23 years out of an abusive marriage (married him twice) and 21 years into a marriage of true partnership. I had to walk away from Christianity once I found myself. It would have been so wonderful back in 1983 when I was working through all that to have a blog like this to read. I can’t complain. Working out of that relationship was a gift that has led me to a true understanding of empowerment.

    Still – having something like this blog as a backup would have been priceless.

    You go girl!

    Posted by tammy vitale | February 22, 2007, 12:17 am
  13. Nothing beats a Christian troll. They’re either filled with concern about your inevitable descent into hell, covering the fact that if heaven was what they believed, they’d be elbowing the rest of the angels out of the way, so they could get a ring-side seat at your torture.

    Or they’re like the ones at Pan*agon (just in case anyone’s searching) and happy to threaten those they hate with rape.

    Posted by Miranda | February 22, 2007, 2:18 am
  14. Well, this happened to me today on my site. I was called a “whore” by someone who took defense at my post on mandating that officers record all their encounters with the public in my city as there is legislation to that effect. It seemed like one of my frequent trolls or his friend. One of them is posting under the name of a porn actor(as I googled it). I suspect they are among a group of vistors, some claiming to be police officers, others not who really terrorized me for about a year. One person who apparently only wrote comments in 2005 was a local police officer who was caught, confessed, received a suspension and then received an award from the city. When I confronted the police chief by email on the award, not only did he not respond, but he’s been rude and nasty to me ever since.

    I realize that blogging puts all women at risk of this type of nastiness but these individuals knew who I was, what I was wearing, where I walked on whatever day and they posted about it.

    I had responded to the troll when he said he hated the term “split-tail” which was in my post about race and gender numbers and the department saying he liked “snatch” better, but it was an older post and not easily visible. Two ISPs out of all of them accessed the comments. One is a police officer who lurks from a SBC Global account(I know who it is because he visits a page where he posted under his real name a year ago and is the only one who does) and the other visitor accessed the site from a city computer. I frequently get city visitors but they usually read the comments section.

    I wrote this response:

    Dear “Ron Jeremy”:

    Only two officers had received “misconduct noted” findings on allegations related to their failure to utilize their recorders according to the CPRC records and that was over two years ago. The vast majority of “misconduct noted” findings arise from the department’s investigations because it is the department which has the right to designate such a finding. As you know, a “misconduct noted” is a sustained finding for misconduct not included in the original allegations of the complaint.

    That’s two officers out of approximately 200+ that have been assigned recorders to use, not to mention two incidents out of thousands of contacts with the public. That’s hardly a lot of discipline being given out now, is it? But then again, you all appear somewhat prone to hyperbole.

    So when you mention all this discipline of these “cops”, what are you rambling about? Could you be more clear? Let’s try this. Can you be clear?

    Oh, and Ron dear or whoever you may be, you are very boring in your continuously childish behavior. You are very disgusting and I’m probably not the first person to tell you that but it’s your choice to behave in this way.

    You’ve been here a while I suspect and your material is just very stale and your use of insults is just well, repetitive. You and your pals are cowards, afraid to use your real names because that would require you to crawl all the way out from underneath your rock and it would quickly be apparent what pathetic creatures you are. Oh wait, it already is clear by your rantings here. Fortunately, about 99% of my visitors don’t even read the comment sections.

    If you’re a police officer, you are a disgrace but I think you know that. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Or you’re just a run of the mill creep who harasses women because they want nothing to do with you in your life.

    I don’t use gender slurs so I’ll just call you an asshole, okay?

    Now be a good boy and go read my response to your previous comment you wrote several days ago. I noticed that you haven’t done so yet. The only people who have read the response so far both work for the city of Riverside(with one of those on server IP=192.248.248.67). Hopefully you weren’t one of them.

    Your ISP tonight indicates that your server is based in Upland. It matches the Verizon ISP for “Ron Jeremy”‘s post last Thursday. Your computer’s signature(thanks to FunWeb Product and Media Center 3.1) matches that of several posts that appeared last autumn including posts under the “Kramer” moniker. I’m not sure how long you’ve been here exactly but it’s probable that you have been here for a while.

    You know I spent a lot of good months of my life being frightened of you and your friends and any other nasty people who appeared at this site to spew their venom. It’s hard being virtually assaulted and threatened by people without faces or even names except for silly monikers. I had to talk to someone else who had a similar experience to understand why I felt such fear. It took a long time before it went away but it did.

    Always looking behind me wherever I went and probably subjecting a lot of hard-working, good officers to looks of fear because I thought you might exist behind their faces. This has been hard on my family and my friends who worried about me. For over a month, I had six panic attacks daily. I think my record was somewhere around 16. I know that reading this makes you feel all giddy inside because inducing fear in me and other targets of your vile hatred and bitterness is what gives you life. But make no mistake here, I’m writing this not for you but for myself. To take back what you took from me. Something that didn’t belong to you.

    I had a hit and run incident on my property last autumn that caused extensive property damage and didn’t call the police. Why? because of comments that you and others like “Kevin, RPD” and the RPD officer who wrote not to bother to call the police if I needed them wrote here.

    You see, if you are RPD officers, I don’t know who you are and what you look like and I couldn’t take the risk of you or any of your buddies coming to take the report and terrorizing me more if you are indeed officers. That’s not fair to the department because most of the officers wouldn’t behave this way but it’s not fair to be put in a position of feeling that fear either. You condemned me and the vast majority of the police officers in the police department to this through your cowardly and twisted behavior.

    You are one deeply troubled person, you and your buddy or buddies real or imaginary, you know the one who described what I was wearing and when I was walking in the Eastside. What pathetic behavior! You probably shook with your giddiness when you saw me on television at that city council meeting or heard about it. Perhaps you were the one who said he would smile whenever he thought of that moment.

    What a sad, sad little man you are and you know it.

    But I’m not scared anymore no matter who you may be, you and your set are pathetic little boys who uses my blog to piss on because everyone else around you is probably tired of listening to your bullshit.

    You cyberstalk because you have nothing else to do in your life to be fulfilled and for your selfish little reasons. And what makes you ultra pathetic is that some of you either are or are impersonating police officers in my city. I’m not sure which is worse as both possibilities are vile and disgusting.

    My religious beliefs mean that I must forgive you and your friends and pray for your heart to be less filled with hatred and bitterness and that certainly won’t be easy but if Jesus can do it, I guess I can. Again, that’s probably more for my benefit than yours.

    I only hope I’m the only woman you treat this way and there aren’t others out there. But if there are, hopefully they will stand up to your abusive, cyberstalking, pathetically cowardly behavior as well. That’s the only way to put cowards like you into the proper perspective.

    Have a nice evening,

    Posted by Radfem | February 22, 2007, 6:37 am
  15. There’s also a retired officer on my site who’s racist and homophobic and once called gays and lesbians “sexual deviations” in a letter in the newspaper. He doesn’t post as far as I know but he had applied for the police commission and I attended the screening process and one councilman vetoed his application because hey, he did refer to the commission as a “lynch mob” in another letter and always wrote letters calling for it to be disbanded. I blogged about the meeting and what the councilman had said about him. It’s the only place he could have gotten that information.

    Anyway, said councilman slipped me an email correspondance between him and the ex-officer who wrote an email specifically to him accusing him of discriminating against him so I knew he had read my site.

    But if you have a site, you have readers who care about what you’re saying and those who hate it and sometimes or more often, they let you know that without telling you who they are. There is nothing really you can do about that, except make your site private or invitation only and then a lot of people who would like to read it miss out. Besides, I had tried private and saw what happened when the people who hated what I wrote were the ones who showed up out of the blue.

    Today, I really questioned my faith. It’s been a horrendous 12 or so months as most of my blogging history was miserable, scary and sometimes even terrifying. I don’t scare easy but it’s hard when they come at you and you don’t know who they are, how many, where and why. I almost stopped blogging. Well, my entries were down to once a month. There were other things today that caused me to question what I do, so I’m taking the weekend to think about it some more. I’m tired, I don’t know if I’m even being effective.

    Sometimes trolls can show up at the times when your faith in yourself and what you do needs to be tested. Other times, it’s like more weight on you.

    Posted by Radfem | February 22, 2007, 6:56 am
  16. How’s that ole saying go, Christianity wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the Christians?

    Just want to join others in thanking you for fighting the good fight, Heart. I think you’re just super. Definitely the hardest working feminist on the internet.

    Posted by Sassafras | February 22, 2007, 3:29 pm
  17. Ah, radfem! All of that is scary as all heck! I can see via my stats that venues where policemen post constantly read and discuss posts I write here. Sometimes I can click on the incoming links and read what they say– very scary. There are undoubtedly good policewomen, and a few good policemen, in the world, but I am convinced most of them are nothing more than thugs, paid by the state to be thugs. I’ve believed that since my first scary encounters with the police in the 60s and nothing has happened to change my mind; instead, everything I’ve witnessed since has confirmed that impression and opinion. The latest out here is that some policeman with the Port of Seattle has been circulating racist, sexist, homophobic, pornographic e-mails throughout the department and has gotten away with it forever because of his rank. I haven’t even read those stories carefully, but I should.

    You’re right, there’s nothing to do about the trolls or the stalkers. The more powerful what you say and write and do are, the more trolls, stalkers and harrassers we will have. Since a huge reason I blog is to draw attention to the situation of women in the world and to provide a forum for women’s voices, I wouldn’t make my blog private. But yeah, it’s very hard to keep the faith at times, and sometimes I think I’ll delete all my blogs and retire to my hermitage forever. Of course, I never do. I know what you and I, all of us, are doing is really important.

    Well, I’ve always thought you rocked, radfem. You’ve always been one of my favorite internet feminists and I have the deepest respect for what you do and how you conduct yourself– really amazing in so many ways.

    And thanks, Sassafras, what a nice and encouraging thing to say!

    xxxooo

    Heart

    Posted by womensspace | February 22, 2007, 4:49 pm
  18. MRAs…gotta’ love ’em. Oh, wait! No you don’t.😉

    Posted by CoolAunt | February 22, 2007, 4:50 pm
  19. Wow Heart.😦

    I just checked my log and there’s a flurry of city computers on the site even though it’s supposedly banned in the police department. Probably either excited or upset by the commission appointments yesterday. I write about it because it can put a spotlight on the real problems which lie elsewhere. If nothing was wrong *cough* elsewhere, they would leave it alone and let it do its job.

    But I’ve had police officers upset with what I write and then police officers who voted enmass to use something I wrote at a city council meeting. Go figure. ‘ve met some good ones, some bad ones. I think on a system level, the bad gets rewarded and the good gets discouraged, thwarted or punished. That seems to be pretty consistant.

    I frequently see city computers but they usually avoid reading comments for obvious reasons which is why that visitor a couple days ago stood out.

    Thanks for your words. I’ve been thinking about whether to keep going at it sometimes.

    Posted by Radfem | February 22, 2007, 8:15 pm
  20. What do you do when it’s someone who claims to be your ally politically but they’re nasty and act like a bully? I have an elected official in my city that has never forgiven me for correcting false information he gave in a community meeting. I had talked to all sides, knew the real story and didn’t understand why he was misleading people. I was polite when I corrected him, but yes, I was still female.

    He railed into me, first third-person and then directly afterward, when I asked him, “What’s up”? Of course, I had misinterpreted what he’d said, according to everyone else. He’s been snarky at best, mean at worst ever since. Usually in front of the liberal crowd and they just ignore him or say I’ve misread it or they didn’t see it that way.

    If he were right wing, or Republican or the “enemy”, he would have been slapped with a complaint and I would have received some support.

    So in my experience, which isn’t as much, I find that it’s almost in some instances easier to deal with people who are nasty who are in opposition because then you may have support from other people because it’s correct for them to criticize an opponant and not an “ally”. That’s a lonely place.

    I put that in quotations because I don’t consider them true allies. Just people who other people haven’t seen through yet to who they really are.

    Posted by Radfem | February 23, 2007, 8:38 pm
  21. What I wrote above I’ve found in political and religious circles. I recognize some of the behaviors mentioned in your article but in people that are more politically aligned at least on the surface.

    Posted by Radfem | February 23, 2007, 8:42 pm
  22. So in my experience, which isn’t as much, I find that it’s almost in some instances easier to deal with people who are nasty who are in opposition because then you may have support from other people because it’s correct for them to criticize an opponant and not an “ally”.

    Tell me about it. It is exactly why I am so through with many bloggers who have claimed to be fighting oppression. Don’t you dare point out their fallacies, their flaws……

    Posted by chasingmoksha | February 23, 2007, 8:42 pm

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