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Pornography, Rape and Sexual Assault

In Solidarity with the Women at the National Day of Truthtelling in Durham, North Carolina

candleshome.jpeg 

The candles on my altar are lit, my circle has been cast, and I am standing in solidarity with my sisters in Durham, North Carolina, from my home thousands of miles away.

I have been raped.

I have been battered.

I have been sexually harrassed, objectified and exploited.

Pornographic images have been used to harm me.

I have been beaten.

I have been verbally and emotionally abused.

I have been spiritually abused.

I have told the truth of my life and have not been believed. I have suffered in silence fearing — or knowing — I would be called a liar. I have kept the truths of my life secret to protect or spare people.

I have tried to forget.

I have run from the truth of my own life and sought refuge and peace where it could not be found because facing it head on was painful and risky.

I have made excuses for the inexcusable, have tried to forgive the unforgivable, have struggled to speak what is unspeakable, for the truths of our lives as women are not welcome in a world in which we are not valued.

No more. I will never hold back again. I will speak my own truth without apology so that other women and girls may take courage. And come what may, I will believe you, my sisters, when you speak your own truths.

In solidarity with my sisters in Durham and throughout the world,

Heart

Discussion

19 thoughts on “In Solidarity with the Women at the National Day of Truthtelling in Durham, North Carolina

  1. In solidarity.

    In agreement.

    In truth.

    In remembrance… of Tonya Studer and Vicki Dewey, as this special National Day of Truthtelling happens to coincide with the one year anniversary of the murder of these two women at the hands of Tonya Studer’s estranged husband.

    May the truthtelling never ever stop!

    Posted by VeggieFem | April 28, 2007, 8:00 pm
  2. Thank you Heart. You are a constant source of comfort, courage and inspiration to me, even when we don’t agree on something.

    Posted by Branjor | April 28, 2007, 8:01 pm
  3. My candle is lit.

    My soul is open with you, us, all of us.

    I am sending bright healing light to everyone…all of us sisters.

    I too vow to tell my truth without apologizing that my truth is indeed my truth.

    Signing as a Survivor,
    Divine Lavender

    Posted by DivineLavender | April 28, 2007, 10:37 pm
  4. I will be doing ritual this evening… folding a rainbow of origami turtles to offer on my altar so that all Women will be upheld and supported by Turtle Mother. I’ve also got my phurbas out and ready to puncture and pin the opposition with…

    May all abusers be snared by Kurukulla and tethered; may Spider Grandmother weave cords by the millions to bind them tightly! May all abusers be made to bow down before those they have wronged; may they be deprived of their strength and their power to be violent! So Mote It Be!

    May all Women and their children be nurtured and sustained! May they feel Turtle Mother beneath their feet, supporting them in perfection; may all Women be protected by Turtle Mother’s Great Shield, may they live in Peace and Joy in Gaia’s Garden! May a Rainbow of Magick revive and nourish them, and help their dreams to manifest in flowers and fruit! May they wear the starry crowns of Priestesses and carry a Wish-Fulfilling Jewel in their hearts!

    So It Is,
    So It Is,
    So It Is,
    Spoken Three Times by Maiden, Mother and Crone,

    And so ’tis done!

    Posted by akkarri | April 29, 2007, 12:11 am
  5. In solidarity and in gratitude to women who tell the truth. We give each other courage and strength to fight back. Thank you, Heart, for your eloquence, energy and wisdom and thanks to the women of Durham for this important message.

    Posted by roamaround | April 29, 2007, 2:48 am
  6. I love you women. Thank you all for being in the world.

    Heart

    Posted by womensspace | April 29, 2007, 4:42 am
  7. Thank you, Heart. For your courage, strength, honesty, and dedication to women and truth. I’m glad to know you. XOXOOX

    In solidarity and sisterhood!

    Posted by britta | April 29, 2007, 5:28 am
  8. In solidarity, and in remembrance; of Helen Betty Osborne of the Norway House Cree First Nation who was savagely beaten to death in 1971 by four white men. None of the men involved were brought to (an incomplete and unsatisfactory) justice until 1987.

    “She told them that she did not wish to accompany them.”

    http://www.ajic.mb.ca/volumell/chapter1.html#1

    Posted by Pony | April 29, 2007, 3:01 pm
  9. Pony,

    For Helen Betty Osborne I have lit a candle, and placed beside it a basket of macadamia nuts from my daughter’s backyard in Australia. I have placed them at the front of my balcony, overlooking Lake Ontario.

    With this offering I also remember all the Australian aboriginal women who have over the centuries been beaten, raped and murdered by the white invaders and by the men of their own tribes.

    We are all sisters.

    Posted by Mary Sunshine | April 29, 2007, 3:50 pm
  10. Beautiful Mary. I too have made an observance for us all.

    I don’t want to derail the thread but want to point this out. Two things: This report is typically legal, very dry and flat. There are other accounts that are as brutal as her experience must have been.

    The legal description said she had not been raped, but the legal definition of rape was penis/vagina penetration. The legal description of the time may have included that her vagina needed to be torn or damaged. The legal description also said that her palate was broken.

    Her palate was broken, but she was not raped.

    Women’s truth does not exist in these reports, or any formal reports of the tiny number of abusive acts and murders of women, in what is accepted documentation and historical record of our oppression.

    Posted by Pony | April 29, 2007, 4:42 pm
  11. I meant to say

    Women’s truth does not exist in these reports, or any formal reports of the tiny number of abusive acts and murders of women which make their way into what is accepted documentation and historical record of our oppression.

    Posted by Pony | April 29, 2007, 4:46 pm
  12. have been raped.

    I have been battered.

    I have been sexually harrassed, objectified and exploited.

    Pornographic images have been used to harm me.

    I have been beaten.

    I have been verbally and emotionally abused.

    I have been spiritually abused.

    I stand in solidarity with all who refuse to be silenced.

    Posted by anonymom | April 30, 2007, 5:15 pm
  13. Wow. Pretty much that entire list applies to me, too.

    Posted by Amananta | April 30, 2007, 7:52 pm
  14. Amananta, I think that’s kind of the point; everyone who that list applies to thinks that they (I) am the only one.

    I don’t have the courage or the trust to speak of my own circumstances; I have been told too many times that I chose this life, that I choose abusive men because I like to be abused, that I deserve to be raped because I don’t “enjoy sex”, that I deserved to lose my children and on and on and on…

    The power comes when Heart and Lucky and you and other strong women I look up to can make lists like this and talk about what they have survived and of course those things have no power to diminish my respect for them.

    Only to diminish my respect for myself when I think that I am the only one.

    Posted by anonymom | April 30, 2007, 10:34 pm
  15. i thought it was beautiful and truthful in all aspests of life in
    being a women. it touched my heart in a way no words
    could describe for i’ve been beaten by my dad when i was
    a child. instead of being a child i was like a slave.
    i worked hard every day of that life. i was different in my
    looks from my siblings and because of that i was looked
    down unpon even though i wore my sari like no other.
    (that is what his mother told me.) i was still worthless in his eyes and i am still worthless in his eyes

    Posted by kayimia | April 11, 2008, 2:06 pm
  16. kayimia, strength and healing to you. Know that we are all standing with you and working for a new world where women and girls are not enslaved, are not made to be worthless, are not treated as worthless by those charged with caring for them and loving them. Thanks for reading and commenting here– you didn’t deserve what was done to you, you don’t deserve it now, none of us does.

    Peace,
    Heart

    Posted by womensspace | April 11, 2008, 3:56 pm
  17. Heart – I to say a small piece, for truthsaying. But first, thanks for giving us space to remember and have some place to be slow.

    TIME TO BREATHE

    I could
    not

    Breathe

    When

    Young

    I was
    raped

    I
    breathe

    It in

    Now

    I could
    not

    Breathe

    When

    I went
    blind

    Seeing

    Porn

    I
    breathe

    It in

    Now

    I could
    not

    Breathe

    As my
    stepdad

    Made
    me

    Into
    his

    Sex
    toy

    I
    breathe

    It in

    Now

    I could
    not

    Breathe

    As I

    Was
    paid

    To be

    Battered

    Raped

    Touching
    death

    I breathe

    It in

    Now

    Now

    I breathe

    I see

    I feel

    I know

    I can

    Live

    Posted by rmott62 | April 11, 2008, 4:27 pm
  18. For all the women and girls who escaped the polygamous cult in Texas, and especially for that very courageous 16 year old girl who made the phone call to the police. One phone call can save hundreds sometimes!

    Posted by Satsuma | April 11, 2008, 5:25 pm

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