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Pre-2008 Posts

Restauranteur Refuses to Serve O.J. Simpson. I’m Not Impressed.

A Kentucky restauranteur has refused to serve O.J. Simpson because, says he, he doesn’t like the way O.J. conducts his life, torments the families of Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman, and he didn’t like the way someone in his restaurant went up to Simpson all giddy, like, “Ohhhh, I can’t believe I’m seeing you, O.J.!”  Something along those lines.

 O.J. was there with 12 or so folks.  He left quietly, saying he understood.  His attorney says it was about racism and has threatened to sue.

Here’s what I think.  I never assume any white, privileged, affluent heterosexual man — which the restaurant owner, Jeff Ruby is — is any friend to me or to women.   I have to have evidence, I have to have proof, that any man, but especially het, rich, white men, are my allies, and even when I have evidence, I reserve judgment.  Time will tell.  I watch. 

So, I’m not impressed with posturing like this, on the part of a well-to-do white guy who may have simply discovered a useful and handy excuse to be a racist asshole.  Would he tell, for example, George Bush, who is directly responsible for the murders of thousands of people, including women and children, and hence the torment of all of their families and loved ones, that he wasn’t going to serve George Bush?  Dick Cheney?  Would he turn away David Duke? 

Would he turn away guys like Larry Flynt, Hugh Hefner, or any number of male pornographers I can think of who are indirectly, and possibly directly, responsible for the deaths of women, and who are certainly responsible for the torture and torment of millions of women nationally and internationally?  Hell no, he wouldn’t do that, not in a million years.  Would he get all upset if women in his restaurant sidled breathlessly up to Flynt or Hefner with the cootchy-coos and the requests for autographs and would he say to Flynt or Hefner, “I don’t want you in here.   I’m not serving you.”

Hell no, he wouldn’t do that. 

Anybody who operated an upscale steakhouse restaurant in Kentucky with that level of ethics and integrity and commitment to women would be out of business yesterday.

 So I’m not at all impressed with the acts of this guy. 

If I had an upscale restaurant somewhere, would I serve O.J. Simpson if he walked in?  Hell no.  Then again, I’d refuse to serve any man in a restaurant I operated, unless I knew for sure he was devoting his time, energy, and money to ending the murder, battering, rape, trafficking, prostituting and abuse of women and girls.  That number of men would certainly be small enough that operating a woman-only restaurant would probably be my choice. 

If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s bullshit like what this appears to be:  white, het, sexist, racist, patriarchal masculinity making itself the chivalrous good guy.

Spare me this kind of “defense” and “protection.”  If you really cared about Nicole Simpson, about what her murder did to her sisters, her mother, her children, and to all of us, as women, if you cared about the way it hurt us all and affected us all, if you gave a good goddamn about women, period, you’d have made a name for yourself a long time ago for the many folks you’d have turned away from your restaurant, the one’s I’ve already mentioned and all the men like them who have centered their lives around the abuse and tormenting of women.   My hunch is, all this incident was was your golden opportunity to refuse service to a black man who was famous, handsome, athletic, rich, who married a beautiful blonde white women and who got away with all kinds of murder, privileges which are supposed to be reserved for white guys like yourself.  My hunch is this was your once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get away with something yourself —   something like racism — and to make yourself some kind of hero in the process, at least to other racists.

Fuck that noise.




28 thoughts on “Restauranteur Refuses to Serve O.J. Simpson. I’m Not Impressed.

  1. It reminds me of the way everyone’s ready to jump all over hip-hop/rap for it’s inherent misogyny without casting that same critical eye at “whiter” genres. Or the way everyone’s willing to jump down the throats of brown Muslim men for slaughtering women (and rightly so), but are willing to ignore the fact that white Christian men kill women here in the US everyday. Criticizing misogyny while maintaining racial hierarchy won’t get you any cookies from me.

    Posted by justicewalks | May 9, 2007, 4:25 pm
  2. I can’t recall who, but some dead white dude economist once said something along the lines of, “There’s no room for genuine morality in capitalism.” I think the “genuine” cinches it – there isn’t a standard every consumer can live up to, and consumers are a pretty significant part of the capitalist equation.

    The buyer can discern on a myriad of factors other than price, not the seller. This is the power consumers have, that capitalists do not. We, as consumers, can hold suppliers to certain non-price standards by withholding our dollars from those who do not. It’s one of Capitalism redeeming values, at least in theory. But a supplier refusing to sell? That’s blasphemy and I’m sure you’re right, Heart, it only occured because getting to be a hypocritical asshole was worth more than the marginal profit of a steak and potato dinner for Jeff Ruby.

    Posted by Sassafras | May 9, 2007, 7:00 pm
  3. Edit to above: We, as consumers, can hold suppliers to certain non-price standards by withholding our dollars those who do not meet our standards.

    Posted by Sassafras | May 9, 2007, 7:01 pm
  4. You’re right about Ruby’s selectivity in just which men he will refuse to serve (Simpson but not Bush).

    I’m still glad he turned Simpson away.

    Posted by Branjor | May 9, 2007, 7:43 pm
  5. I think this is very true, and no doubt, there is also an economic element, because Ruby got publicity for what he did, and I bet he will get a lot more business from that group of people who have the same attitude he does.

    Posted by whatladder | May 9, 2007, 10:45 pm
  6. Yeah, you wonder about how it would have gone down if it was Phil Spector, another celeb woman-killer. Would the same crowd have roared its approval?

    It’s sorta like, “how dare he murder a white woman and get away with it! that’s *our* prerogative”.

    Nah, I doubt that they’d have given Phil a second thought.

    Posted by Mary Sunshine | May 9, 2007, 10:57 pm
  7. Mary you took the thought out of my head. “how dare he murder a white woman and get away with it! that’s *our* prerogative”.

    I feel trapped, I am having major computer issues.

    Posted by Chasingmoksha | May 9, 2007, 11:33 pm
  8. Don’t feel trapped. Commiserate with me. I can help, because I’ve had every computer issue that can be had in the past two weeks. I’ve had two stacks implode, two NEWISH stacks with all the best goodies inside, sitting here like ‘effin dodos, while I’m left with running Word 95 or something on a 1996 Compaq that makes noise like a tractor. With the Mistake Edition. But it does chug its way out of the barn, yes!

    So what was your problem?

    Posted by MedeaOnCrack | May 10, 2007, 1:10 am
  9. Yes I’m also glad he turned Simpson away, but I do suspect you’re right. The other option is to serve anyone who comes in politely, and quickly, and add 25 per cent to the bill, donating that to a battered woman’s shelter, rape-crisis centre, Floridans Against Bushes; what have you.

    Posted by MedeaOnCrack | May 10, 2007, 1:13 am
  10. Maybe it overheated or something. I did not realize that it has been sitting on for two days. The problem was/is nothing will load and if it does load I get hung up and cannot escape, on the internet or not on the internet. I am wondering how many years should one expect from a computer. We got this one December 2001.

    Posted by chasingmoksha | May 10, 2007, 1:56 am
  11. Have you had the blue screen of death? That usually goes along with hung-up. And together signify needing some tech attention. But since techs are almost always men, who have half the brains and education we do, but charge us per hour what we’d earn in two days or so, I’d say, buy new.

    Of course, you could always try defraging, clearing all your cookies and history, running a full system scan AND a Housecall scan (google it), getting everything off your desktop, checking what programs are cued to your start and get the ones you don’t use off there, and also delete from add/remove all the software you don’t use.

    Then you go out and buy a new computer anyway. IBTFP, for sure. Where the hell are all the feminist techs?

    Posted by MedeaOnCrack | May 10, 2007, 3:00 am
  12. Hmph. Us feminist techs are using Linux or Mac OS X, not *shudder* Windows *shudder*…

    Posted by anon | May 10, 2007, 5:59 am
  13. I full-belly-laugh when men say that Women are ‘gossips’ and ‘obsessed with fashion trends (i.e. status displays)’. This is male crap-displacement…

    Male bonding is no such thing. It is, rather, groups of men engaged in petty warfare among themselves to rank themselves within any given group. This is why you have all the pomp, salutes, uniforms, shouting, violent sports, hunting trophys, ultimate barbecue contests and other assorted ‘friendly’ rivalries. There is nothing amicable or nice about it, and the primary concern of men in most all-male groups is how close to the top they can get ranked via allegiances, general threats, favors, intimidation, ridicule and outright aggression. A male hand on the shoulder of another man (or a Woman) is a dominace gesture– he is symbolically ‘holding down’ a rival. This is not friendship. It is constant, unremitting obsession with personal status. That’s what all the pushing, nudging, posing and back-slapping is about: dominance, dominance and yet more dominance, and how men look to other men. How men look to Women does not enter into the picture *at any level*.

    Jeff Ruby refusing to serve O.J. Simpson is an attempt by a lower-ranking male to ‘up-rank’ himself in the eyes of other males by snubbing a seemingly higher-ranked male, who is ‘vulnerable’ due primarily to his own race rather than the interracial wife-murder he committed (said murder being a convenient excuse to incite a dominance-display). Ruby is a piss-himself ‘safe snubber’– usually picking on a male who is already ‘on his way down’. He will never, ever challenge another man whose status is unquestioned, and who has the force behind him to back up his rank. This is male primatology 101: simple, stupid, and totally concerned with self, and it is presently what happens on this planet when the majority of human maleness starts clumping together.

    O.J and Ruby are birds of a feather: dominance-addicts engaged in an ongoing war of male one-upmanship, who see other males as the competitive enemy, not as sovereign individual beings or (horrors) actual friends-in-equality. Since they barely acknowledge each other’s human rights and supposed freedoms, it is a dead cert they will be completely oblivious to the human rights/freedoms of Women and children.

    So all I see in the end is a pinky-beige-skinned male chimp making a status-display of withholding food from a dark-brown-skinned male chimp, because the dark-brown-skinned male chimp looks like he’s safe to socially snub. And the dark-brown-skinned male chimp killed a Woman because it is safer status-wise for him to attack a Woman than a pinky-beige-skinned male chimp if he is upset about something, anything, whatever.

    As for me, I feel like I am actually from the Pleiades, Arcturus or Sirius B, because I absolutely *cannot* relate in any way to this kind of bullshit. I’m also getting *really* sick and tired of having to ‘blend with the locals’.

    I call on all Star-Women to unite and start pulling the civilization we gave them out from underneath the ungrateful monkey-boys. Gaia was Our Planet first…

    Posted by akkarri | May 10, 2007, 7:30 am
  14. OJ handsome? Surely you jest? As Forrest Gump’s momma would say, handsome is, is as handsome does.

    RE: Computer probems

    Ok, ok, I’m a geek.

    I don’t know if Compaqs have improved much over the last few years, but it use to be they ran fine — as long as you didn’t add any program or try to download anything.

    So how much memory are you running in that thing? On Windows 95, I wouldn’t recommend anything less than 128 mb. 256 mb is more like it. And even that is way too little for today’s graphic intensive programs and net surfing. These days, 512 mb to 1 gig is recommended. But I don’t think your older machine will take that much. But it’s a cheap way to boost your computer’s speed. Upgrade the memory. You’ll notice the difference.

    About every 6 months or so, I erase my entire hard drive (format) and and load the OS and programs again from scratch. Gets rid of all the garbage. Every bit of it. I know that’s what a tech from Compaq would tell you to do. Because even if you’re a techie, trying to find all the hidden garbage is near impossible.

    And you’re running Windows 95? Yikes. I have to wonder how many bugs and viruses you’re running on that thing. Windows 95 is no longer supported by Microsoft. Neither is Windows 98 or Windows ME. XP will be obsolete in about a year as Vista is the new OS. But XP and Vista are memory intensive OS’s that take up a lot of space on the hard drive and require a lot of ram. I doubt your machine could handle it. Windows ME is probably the most advanced you could go with the limitations I suspect your machine has.

    Get yourself some anti-virus software. I recommend AVG. It’s a free download off the internet. I like it a lot better than I do Norton or McAfee, which are memory hogs.

    Medea’s suggestions are also good. Clean up your history, your temp files, your cookies, remove programs you don’t use, scan, defrag. Not necessary if you plan on reformatting your hard drive. Which at this point, I recommend you do. Make sure you save everything that’s near and dear to you first. Because it will all go *poof* once you reformat.

    But what’s really kinda bugging me is the sound you’re hearing from your machine. That doesn’t sound like a software problem. That sounds like a hardware problem. Are fans going out? Not enough cooling will kill your computer. I’d definitely be checking out that power supply fan and the fan to your cpu. Another thing that concerns me is your hard drive. Is it about to crash? That’ll make some god awful noises. A bad cpu that’s about to go out also isn’t very pretty. I once again highly suggest you save everything that’s near and dear to you. Cuz if that hard drive crashes, all you’ll be able to do is wave “bye, bye.”

    Me — I build my own computers. I have computers dating back to the 80’s that still work. Most store bought computers are out-dated after only 3 to 6 months. Technology moves that fast. Most computers I build can keep up with the technology for about 5 years. And then I usually just switch out the motherboard and cpu and have a new machine again.

    Posted by Luckynkl | May 10, 2007, 9:31 am
  15. Medea asked:

    ” Where the hell are all the feminist techs? ”

    There’s Lucky, but she’s hiding ….

    Posted by Mary Sunshine | May 10, 2007, 9:44 am
  16. Hell no, he wouldn’t do that.

    How do you know that? Seems like you’re making a lot of assumptions to me.

    Posted by drmike | May 10, 2007, 12:06 pm
  17. HAH!

    This thread is a trip!

    Thank the goddess on high I went through my spam queue or some great posts would not be in here.

    Fwiw, I’ve had to blacklist a couple of stalkers’ IP’s. What I think happens is, when you blacklist IP’s, you blacklist *ranges* of IPs. What I think that means is, other people in those ranges are going to get blacklisted just like the stalker, meaning when you try to comment, if your IP is in that range, you go straight to spam, do not pass go, no “Your comment is awaiting moderation,” no nuttin.

    I could make this a registered users only blog, but I sort of hate to do that because it seems like when blogs go that direction it gets to be too much trouble to comment or it gets to be a huge pain because you forget your login/password or whatever.

    I apologize if your stuff is going into moderation or into the spam queue and you are INNOCENT! I will regularly check the spam queue.

    I really just don’t want anything these @!&@$&*@&@ stalkers try to comment to get through, one in particular, the imposter stalker, who is around again and behaving in a more creepy way than ever before. Really, really creepy. If this person keeps it up I really will have to involve police.


    Posted by womensspace | May 10, 2007, 3:23 pm
  18. mike,

    How do you assume he isn’t?

    Posted by uppitybiscuit | May 10, 2007, 3:25 pm
  19. HEART check your e-mail sent you breaking Gardasil news.


    You’ve confused my computer info with ChasingMoksha’s. It’s me on the Compaq with the Mistake Edition, running ahahahhaha XP Office. {Lucky just crashed into a pool of giggles}. Anyway, I do have one of them built it yourself jobbies sitting here DEAD AS THE EFFIN DODO as I said. And I’m so pissed with techs I’m not calling one until I turn blue.

    Next on my learn to do list: how to clean out my registry, cause I don’t hold the masters for anything I have.

    Posted by MedeaOnCrack | May 10, 2007, 3:45 pm
  20. I meant to note:

    Fuck that noise.



    Heart is adding the bite in bite.

    Posted by chasingmoksha | May 10, 2007, 4:36 pm
  21. I have been cleaning as much as my computer as I can, still working on it. I need to learn how to put my pictures and stuff on CDs, never did it before. Or perhaps my USB or whatever, the one I have is small I will need another one with more memory, I have only used it to put word documents and power point in order to view it on the school’s computer.

    Akkarri is right on the money. I always find it helpful to look at the structure to see the problem but try not to use the structure to solve the problem.

    His steak house will be making money now…..big time… He is a hero. A real dragon slayer, or red cross knight or was it white cross, the one in the Faerie Queen, the rustic loon who sort of stumbled into his position. Of course the snake like creature he killed was female and had little female babies inside with propoganda on leaflets. Oh my, I cannot remember that story, prehaps I will read it today.

    Posted by chasingmoksha | May 10, 2007, 4:42 pm
  22. Only CM could re-work this into Celt mythology. We’re waiting CM.

    Posted by MedeaOnCrack | May 10, 2007, 6:08 pm
  23. Sadly, I agree with you about needing evidence before I can trust someone male. I’ve been told it’s sexist of me to feel that way, and maybe it is, but it’s WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRAINED TO FEEL. When patterns occur, we react to them, if we’re even remotely rational. That doesn’t mean I don’t know several men I’d trust with my life, but I know a hell of a lot more women I trust.

    Posted by Dew | May 10, 2007, 7:10 pm
  24. [Deleted at Branjor’s request.]

    Posted by Branjor | May 11, 2007, 2:09 am
  25. I agree entirely with Heart and with akkarri about the motives of Jeff Ruby, at least with the parts I understand about “dominance-addicts engaged in an ongoing war of male one-upsmanship.” I don’t really get the parts about Star Women and Gaia Planets, though, I must say…with all due respect from this confirmed atheist.

    I find it horrifically galling that OJ is walking around free, and I would love to see a woman freedom fighter take him out. This restaurant incident is just another case of women’s bodies as male trophies, however, so it doesn’t avenge Nicole’s murder.

    I wish there were more we could do. No justice, no peace.

    Posted by roamaround | May 11, 2007, 2:17 am
  26. Wow, I luv your honest no holds bar comments regarding the OJ situation. I live in Cincinnati OH.

    Jack Ruby has a restaurant located in downtown Cinti. If I really felt that he was coming from a pure an untainted place as to why he refused Mr. Simpson service, I would be the first to applaud him. However, I do not.

    In 2001, Cincinnati had an uprising, a revolt. It gained national media attention, Cincinnati made World News. Many called it a “Riot,” but that wasn’t what it was.

    I had only been back home for 30 days. Yet, within 7 days I could smell it in the air, that something was going to happen. It was a must. Our African American men were being shot dead in our streets, bloodshed. A genocide was taking place.

    Anyways, after the uprising and revolt had finished our yearly summer ‘Jazz Festival’ kicked off. This event is mostly comprised of African American concert goers an Artists.

    Jack Ruby shut the doors to his restaurant. He didn’t want any Black Folks coming into his place. The end result from his right to do this was a boycott from Whoopi Goldberg, Bill Cosby and many other headliners coming into Cincinnati.

    The following year, the Jazz Festival was cancelled. Our well-known African American artists plus many other Artists along with our supporters & allies outside of our brown community took a stand beside us–fuck Cincinnati and the racism that continues to want to live and breath in our city.

    You see, the Master has died but His Children have stepped up to the plate. This boycott was millions of dollars lost for Cincy’s economy. African Americans from around the world refused to grace our Music Hall or the 4 stars Hotels in downtown. As matter of fact, Black Folks didn’t spend any money downtown. White business owners never recouped from this lost.

    Jack Ruby is a known racist here in this city but he can call it what he wants. I’m not going to debate with him. I’d sooner dig in the dirt and fry me up some worms, than patron his place.

    Posted by Miss Vicki | May 12, 2007, 2:37 am
  27. To Heart:

    I figured something interesting was going on, as I thought I had somehow lost my previous post on this thread. Now I know it probably went sideways into the spam conga-line. Do what you gotta do to shut down the stalkers- I don’t have any probs with accomodating.

    To Roamaround:

    To use a word that is rather inadequate to describe things, I am a (from-a-rather-young-age) Shaman.

    My Reality is markedly different from most people’s in a number of interesting ways, and it took me awhile to get it that most of the people around me make the mistake of confusing what is physical with what is Real. To be sure, what is physical *is* real, but Reality is not confined solely to what is physical.

    For me, a thinking, breathing, long-range-planning, talking Planet is as ‘true’ as objects like lamp-posts, paperback books, and stainless steel flatware are for the non-Shamanic (who really aren’t non-Shamanic, by the way, they are just nervous about venturing beyond the ‘sensory-skin-box’ layer of Reality). I not only talk to my friends, family and co-workers who are incarnated in human bodies and are sharing current consensus Reality with my physical self, I also talk to rainbow-light-bodied Turtle-Spirits, Skypeople, Plant-Beings and a deceased maternal uncle who has become a Thunder Being. For me, that’s what ‘normal’ *is*.

    Part of the reason I loathe the patriarchal official-religion crap is that it is all about cutting everyone off from the incredible, infinite unfolding of Sentient Reality inside of every living Being by making people distrust themselves and their own inner Vision and Light. Gaia comes out *through* us– we manifest Her, as does the rest of the biosphere of this world. We are thus Innately Sacred, and we *really* need to wake up to our Power, because THAT is what we are, truly.

    I also want it understood that I am not saying these things to change anyone else’s mind. I’m just trying to get it across to folks that Sentient Reality is actually much bigger, trickier, unusual and way more amusing than human sensory-organs give Her credit for. She is also NOT ‘a symbol of xxx’, or ‘an archetype of yyy’. That’s just more patriarchal flim-flam. She is REAL and we are each beautiful Flames of Her Real Fire, but we have to go within ourselves, each by herself, to really figure this out. It’s what the ancient Celts used to call ‘The Salmon’s Leap’: everything one thinks one knows– that one holds oneself to be– must be risked.

    And that’s what I love about what Women do when we rise up– *we* have the Mind and we Leap! It is not for nothing that we are called ‘Dakinis’– Sky-goers– we are Star-Women who are filled with the Lightning that powers the Cosmos! Considering things from this kind of vantage-point, it is a slam-dunk that it would be much more enlightening and life-affirming to spend quality conversation-time with the Gaian Planetary Awareness than with a couple of poop-flinging primates like Simpson and Ruby. This is what I mean about ‘not fitting in with the locals’: the older I get, the less patient I am with their self-deformed little corner of Reality.

    The Planet is restless… Turtles are digging… Wolves are howling… Priestesses are gathering, drumming…

    Posted by akkarri | May 13, 2007, 4:44 am
  28. But what about his SON – Jason L Simpson? This has some information that might make you go hmmmmm

    Posted by Bobby Ewing | June 20, 2007, 2:56 pm

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