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Rape and Sexual Assault

Free Mary Winkler! And Her Daughters — Mary Sentenced to 3 Years and to Serve 210 Days


Update:  Mary Winkler was just sentenced to three years in prison, but to serve only 210 days of her sentence. — Heart

The parents of Mary Winkler’s violently, sexually abusive pastor-husband have denied her contact with her kids, save two very brief visits when she was in jail.  She’s been out on $750,000 bond for over six months now, has been working and living quietly, since that morning when she couldn’t take it anymore and shot him, a moment which she doesn’t precisely recall.  The jurors believed Mary Winkler was telling the truth and were moved by her testimony of years of verbal, emotional, sexual and physical abuse at her husband’s hands.  But  the grandparents say Mary “lied” when she told her oldest daughter she didn’t kill Matthew Winkler, and that’s why her kids shouldn’t be able to see their mom.  Winkler agreed to give the grandparents temporary custody until her trial for the murder of Matthew Winkler was concluded, but she never agreed they had the right to keep her children from her forever

Now the grandparents have filed to terminate Mary Winkler’s parental rights and for permanent custody.  They are attempting to take her three daughters away from her and to ensure that she and her sisters, their aunts, and Mary’s family members will never see them again. They have also filed a “wrongful death” action against her.  They are, in other words, attempting to finish what their son began.

Mary will be sentenced Friday and is expected to receive a sentence of 3-6 years minus the five months she has already spent in jail.  Her attorneys are going to petition for a new trial with charges of either voluntary manslaughter or criminally negligent manslaughter.  They believe that the publicity around the case means the judge who sentences Mary this Friday will give her jail time, even though she is clearly no threat to anyone, as battered and abused women rarely are a threat to anyone.  She has worked and lived responsibly on bail for months, although she has been relentlessly hounded and stalked by various unsavory types.   She has abided by every provision of her release on bond.  If the judge doesn’t grant a new trial, Winkler’s attorney will ask that she be released on bond pending appeal of her sentence and spend no time in jail.

I’ve blogged about Mary Winkler here, here, here, and here.

I hope these grandparents — the grandfather is a pastor like his son was, and the great grandfather was a pastor in four states in the South for 60 years– and their attorney get everything they have coming to them.  I hope Mary Winkler does no jail time.  I hope Breanna, Mary and Patricia Winkler are restored to their mother and soon.  They’ve been through enough.  All they need is to spend the rest of their growing-up years in the environment which produced a misogynist like Matthew Winkler and surrounded by people who could stand silently, idly by as their pastor-father abused their mother.





26 thoughts on “Free Mary Winkler! And Her Daughters — Mary Sentenced to 3 Years and to Serve 210 Days

  1. This is horrible, but not surprising…so typical of the fundie right and the legal system that still penalizes Womyn for Self-Defense,

    and she was acting in Self-Defense. If this had been a man, walking in a bedroom and seeing his wife with a nother man, he would have in many states been sentenced to probation only, Texas being on of them, as it wouldn’t be murder but a ‘crime of passion’…i knew of a case just like this, a man in Texas shot his wife and her lover…and he walked.

    This is the result of the influence of religious misogny [be it Christian or Judaism as there was a case that was a Rabbi, I recall] IN OUR LEGAL SYSTEM…that even with all the ‘liberal’ anti-religion, misogyny and domestic violence is still tolerated.
    Some of the worst misogynists attitudes i’ve encountered outside of religion has been believe it or not, in the athiest community, that deems ‘science’ and ‘reason’ as the foundations that need to be established, but even there, the tolerance for all types of hate crimes against womyn are enabled and excuse made for. [e.g. pornagraphy, violent pornagraphy, pedaphilia, woman hate, etc]

    so it presents several problems in confronting legal systems and the influences that work to perpetuate violence against womyn, and its is clearly evident in the criminalizing of womyn who one day rise up to defend themselves, to protect their very lives and/or the lives of their children.

    It infuriates me that the man’s family can perpetuate the blatant hate of womyn and the misogynist belief that its tolerable for men to beat their wives, that they are entitled to do so, especially if they are pastors???? Its not different than the families who assist or who condone honor killings and child rapes [they term it child marriages, no, its raping of children] in Islamic countries, its no different at all yet, ironically, the Christian right will scream they have some devine right under God to wage war and colonize…

    Jesus [the Pagan, yea thats right, thats what I said, the Spirit, the Holy Spirit, Sophia, Blessed be Her Name, gives Life, the LEGALISM, LAW, RELIGION…RELIGION KILLS KILLS KILLS] called these Religious leaders, the writers of LAWS and Misogynists, ‘snakes and hypocrites’…[*note: the Bible was re-written and re-written, and the King James version, hmmm, lets see, wasnt’ he the one who had a wife killed so he could sleep with another????? why Jesus said, the truth is in our hearts, even the texts can be re-written and lies thrown in, something to think about]

    [I was raised in Christian Bible Belt so I have not a problem, in challenging the standard…i read the Bible every day, at one time in my life and have not a problem in confronting the misogyny and lies and distortions that the RELIGION OF WOMAN HATE has used to justify MALE GOD WORSHIP]

    in the entire psychology of the legal system, a system btw that is hierarchial and full of gender bias, is based on the fundamentals of class and sexism and racism. It is also, based and continues to feed, with the help of the whole ‘therapy industry, as far as the ‘institution of’ **see note following] that INJUSTICE that womyn shouldn’t 1. get angry when they are abused and 2. defend themselves because 3. we have a legal system/criminal system that takes care of men who beat their wifes….

    the result: 4. how many womyn and children are butchered in this nation AFTER THE RESTRAINING ORDERS,


    But dare, DARE a woman one day just snap and rise up and defend herself…because she KNOWS that sooner or later, and she KNOWS there is no way out…




    RELIGION WILL NOT ONLY PROTECT BUT SANCTIFY AND CONDONE HIM AND HIS ABUSES BECAUSE YOU KNOW OLE ADAM WAS FIRST [never mind that ole Adam was the one who disobeyed, Eve was deceived and it was ADAM who was instructed not to eat, not EVE…they always Miss that though when they read Genesis…why EVE NEEDS TO RISE UP AND KICK ADAM IN THE ASS AND STOP INTERNALIZING THAT LIE, THAT BLAME….AND EXPOSE THAT ‘LIE’ THAT ALL RELIGIONS HAVE USED]

    and the Children, the Children are the ones who suffer,

    especially the girls, as they will be raised, in an evironment that teaches them that their duty in life, that is so called God instructed [ANOTHER LIE] to be subjugated and submissive…and that dear ole dad was just being what men are, after all, if mummy would have been submissive ole daddy wouldn’t have beat her…


    and of course, I wonder just how much $$$ the grandparents take in, [or will take in] from the ole church, that the pastor of maggot death wife beater,

    took in from tithes?

    The sad reality is that this behavior of wife beating happens more in the churches and among pastors than many want to admit…not only that, its condoned, dare a woman rise up though,



    like she didn’t exist, yea I have some issues with the Churches…especially with having had sit in so many pews and listening to the CULT INDOCTRINATION OF WOMAN HATE for so many years…one in Texas I remember [they threw me out btw when i confronted them at a ‘home bible study’, lol, yea i’m still proud of that, hell yea, they called the elders and everything…told my first husband to get me in line or else, i said, screw you, they excommunicated me, think thats the word, lol]

    why did i go off on them, gee, the Pastor gets up, to two congregations, and says, that a wife should take back her husband if he’s screwing around and he wants to come back, and to save her marriage to the asshole she should submissively love and sleep with him [yea puke puke]
    and i asked, what if the asshole gets AIDS, shall she then still be submissive and sleep with him to save this sorry excuse of a marriage,

    and they [the bible study leaders said, get this, ready]
    yea she should, because she should trust in God and if its His will she gets AIDS too then He is loving and blah blah blah…



    but Thats what they indoctrinate womyn with, and dare she question, or its Hell Fire…using FEAR, to TERRORIZE WOMYN,



    and why, when the legal system still is based on some of the religious misogynist thinkings, such as womyn shouldn’t defend themselves against beatings and rapes, and that womyn/wives are the property of husbands,




    Taking her kids away, taking Heather’s kids away, same damn thing…



    Tasha **Note: many who work in therapy and in the legal system are geniune and good people and very much fighting for womyn’s rights and womyn’s healing…the reference to the industry/institution is to the political and economical controls of the institutions as well as the male dominance and class/elitist dominance. not to the individuals who work, in the system but also, to confront and change the system…

    Posted by Tasha | June 5, 2007, 9:29 pm
  2. Tasha, that’s awful that a ‘crime of passion’ (“passion” here meaning “anger” of course) trumps acting in self defence. This situation makes me so angry.

    Just a note though: King James (he of the King James Bible) was only married once. You are thinking of King Henry VIII, who had 6 wives – he divorced two (thereby introducing Protestantism in England), beheaded two, one died in childbirth and one survived him (there’s a rhyme we learn in Britain for the order of the wives’ fates: ‘divorced; beheaded; died; divorced; beheaded; survived’).

    Posted by BrevisMus | June 6, 2007, 9:39 am
  3. Is there anything that we, as US citizens (for those among us who are US citizens, that is), can do to help Mary Winkler and her daughters?

    Posted by CoolAunt | June 6, 2007, 2:25 pm
  4. CoolAunt, all we can do, as US citizens, to help Mary and her girls is publicize the truth about her situation. It is all in the hands of the court system now, the attorneys, the judges. She will be sentenced June 8. Her attorney — who seems to be really good — will ask for a new trial, and he will appeal any prison sentence she gets and ask that she be free on bond pending her appeal. She has appealed the rulings around child custody (too complicated to explain– very, complicated and frustrating). I don’t get the impression that she needs money, I think her family is helping her and she has good legal help. Possibly we could send encouraging mail to her? Maybe through her attorney. Her attorney is:

    Steven E. Farese
    122 Church Street
    P.O. Box 98
    Ashland, Mississippi 38603
    (662) 224-6211

    I feel discouraged that I seem to be the only blogger who has really blogged this in a woman-centered way.

    Beyond that, we need a women’s political party, a woman candidate for president, women front and center all of the time in the news, women commmitted to women first and foremost, all of which, I believe, are doable.


    Posted by Heart | June 6, 2007, 3:10 pm
  5. Tasha, there is always so much to respond to in your comments!
    You know I was a fringe-y radical Christian for years. I repeatedly heard the story of Deborah, who was a Judge over Israel, taught, but you know what they taught about that? That the only reason Deborah was Judge was, it was a time of wickedness and sinfulness, when “There was no king in Israel, and every man did what was right in his own eyes.” In their view, Deborah’s judge-ship was (1) like a punishment and embarrassment to the men; (2) only happened because God couldn’t find a suitable king or man for the job. It was always presented as a threat, i.e., “If you men don’t get your acts together, I’m going to let a WOMAN rule over you!”

    Which actually, there’s a verse in one of the prophetic books, very misogynist, of course, in which the prophet talks about how backslidden Israel was, saying, “Children are your oppressors, and your women rule over you.” That was, like, the worst. thing. ever. It was trotted out to club the congregation with any time the pastor or elders felt like people were (1) not disciplining their children firmly enough; (2) wives were not being submissive; (3) husbands were not “leading” (read: dominating and being overbearing assholes).

    Having said all that, YES to what you say about atheists, Tasha! Atheists can out-fundamentalist fundamentalists, and they do, not only that, YES to how sexist and misogynist they so often are.

    Good for you for standing up to the idiots in your “home bible study.”

    Winkler’s family and some church members deny deny deny that Winkler abused Mary. Even though plenty of people saw her bruised and some of her sexual abuse was medically documented. But no, they have made her out to be a liar.

    People like this will say, with their mouths, that it’s wrong for men to abuse their wives, and to be fair and honest, many really believe this, especially battered women (!), but there are some decent men who grieve over the huge amount of domestic violence in the church. But if a woman is abused, and she speaks up, brings it to the attention of church members, she will almost *never* receive support. She will be scuttled off into “counseling” where she will be told how to be a better wife and Christian, pray more, be more obedient, study the Bible more, be more submissive, be more kind, be more gentle, it is sick, sick, sick.

    As you know, I was excommunicated publicly, nationally, in 1994. When I sued I learned a lot of things, one of which was that one of my older sons had gone to the pastor of the church (which I was suing) TWICE, not once, TWICE, trying to get help for his dad, my ex’s, abuse issues. The pastor — my ex’s best friend at the time — told him to “pray about it.”
    That’s it.

    Re that hideous counsel about infidelity and what if a husband comes up with AIDS and trusting God: In my old world, one of my closest friends learned she was HIV positive when she gave birth to her fifth child. Her husband was also HIV positive. Her church at the time told her, and her family totally believed, that the word of God was that “the plague would not come nigh [their] dwelling.” Trusting in this, she continued to “allow God to plan their family.” Her sixth child, a boy, Levy, died at 12 weeks of full-blown AIDS. I have never been to such a hideous, macabre funeral. Within a year, Jay, my friend, had died. Pregnancy hastens the onset of AIDS and this was 1990, 1991, when almost no research had been done on HIV in women. Within another year or so, her husband died. They left their five kids, none of whom was HIV positive. But this is the power of those teachings, that milieu. Jay was a NURSE, an RN. She was smart as a whip. And yet she believed against all hope that somehow she and her family would be spared.

    Well, Tasha, I’m glad you’ve come to my blog. You encourage, inspire and energize me, despite the sadness of these times for women.


    Posted by womensspace | June 6, 2007, 3:30 pm
  6. Heart,

    I am learning so much, I had that conflict, when i was in the church, i used to curse God sometimes, but i dont’ know it was like, something didn’t ‘click’ with how i knew Jesus personally in that spirit way and even God too, and so much that was in the Bible and Especially in the church…something in my spirit didn’t click…

    it wasn’t until i left it all and walked away from it, and started learning Marxism, lol, yea i went from one extreme to another, but i never lost faith in Jesus, but i just saw Him and spirituality very different, i questioned, and i started looking at the Bible as a historical text and looking at it in a dialectic way…studied Hegel too,

    lol i wasnt’ sure about King James but its like i know, sense that the Bible was re-written much like history is, because the poles between old and new testament and revelations, are too extreme, either that, or looking at it strictly in dialectics, and not faith wise, its like it makes more sense, the ‘law’ and the ‘hardness of the hearts’ and then how societies were structured etc., which were misogynist as hell,
    the coming of messiah, death, resurrection, and i see a lot in the story of Mary Magdeline, who is one i really lean to, always have, identified with [probably due to my life and being on the streets],

    but especially that ‘breaking of the law, that end of law, curse’ on spiritual level and then slowly on physical level…restoration, which interestingly i see how materialist dialectics has a lot in common with Hegel,

    [i theorize and study theory so not saying i believe in one way or another as i’m constantly looking at all the angles and possibilities and i’ve always been that way, habitual daydreamer [how i escaped as child, that and reading] and so i thread things together, which lol, you know i have been reading Mary Daly and i Got the whole Spinster thing now, lol, oh my, the weaving and woman love and like i knew it but never seen it put in words before, but knew it on a deep spiritual level, lol oh i would just love to sit and talk with many of you because oh, just the ‘energy’, what Mary was talking about just Clicked, i mean, boom,

    like she had this flashlight, the crones and you see it, you don’t need words cuzz you just see it, it all makes sense,

    but anyway, i am reading this other book too, on Womyn’s Spirituality and the chapters about Sophia, which, oh boy its just like ties it all in…i do believe in the Goddesses, and what i’ve been reflecting on is several things that Jesus did, that were ‘pagan in ritual’, like drawing the circle in the dirt, during the attempted stoning,
    putting mud on the blind man’s eyes, the connection to the earth,
    oh, get this, just the other day, for some reason i was led to read in the new test about the end times right, so i get to the part and i’ve never noticed this before, but its about the end days where it says, the earth will be darkened and the sun will be covered [my para, not in these exact words, etc] and this, this i was, like it jumped at me,

    ‘the heavens will be pulled apart or the stars will fall, thats it, the stars will fall’,

    then that ties into of course, the new ‘heavens and earth’, see most just say, the new earth…

    so, i’m thinking on that and Boom, i remember an article that just came out, the DARK ENERGY that scientists have discovered, they don’t know what it is, but its pulling the galaxy apart…not together…it was in one of those fillers that are in the paper every week,

    and i’ve been studying the birth and re-birth of the Goddesses, reading about Astarte and Ishtar and it just like, o.k. this sure puts on a whole other spin on things…[again, i theorize not like, This is the truth because hey, i don’t know, thats how i look at it, for all i know we could have been put here by species from another planet or we could just be matter and energy and that whole big bang theory, i mean i know what i believe faith wise, but not like, adament sure, i guess if i ever meet someone who has actually died and come back, and brings back pictures or something, lol]

    but someone told me the other day that scientists have found new planets/system??? like not too long ago, i haven’t checked on that, but hmmmm,

    see i’ve always wondered if there is Goddesses and Gods and God and Jesus and Allah and its all part of this whole big thing that we are a part of, and that the whole process and that dialectic is that in the end, before the re-birth, we figure it out, or something…[would make sense too, with how Hinduism and the Goddesses and the Rebirth]

    sorry know this is off topic but i have always found weaving the threads and questioning to be a delight and powerful, because i see LOVE in all of it, how LOVE works, and the Goddesses right now are just showing me things, Sophia, Mary, the Furies, Morrigan, Machta, Tara, Isis, and I just found Oshun…

    or eyes opened better way of saying it….

    i hate religion and yea i know what you are talking about in regards to the denial in church, but thats in society too, worse though when religion is used,

    what is SO CRIPPLING TO WOMYN when they use GOD AND RELIGION AND THE TEXTS THAT YES ARE MISOGYNISTS AND ALSO, IN WAYS, IN SMALL PARTS FEMINIST [CANTON] BUT YOU KNOW THE MISOGYNY, ALWAYS IS THERE, like it cancels out all the few texts that are good, which is why womyn are so torn in church, and i know the same is true in Islam too [Fatima Mernissi, does good work on discussing this same conflict],

    so even lets say, a ‘feminist’ woman in the church is so conflicted [my opinion] because its like, that split…one one hand you have this loving God/Father and on the other hand, this loving God/Father has allowed womyn to be cursed..
    but i always come back to the dialectic…was it God, or was it the result of the Fall, the opposite of God [and i see God as Female/Male and OUR, not this one He God that men have so cleverly constructed and not as some being without gender, etc which is just another clever way of demonizing She]

    and the whole process from the law to grace is the restoration and learning [there were Two trees, not just one, tree of life, which is also in Goddess faiths, and Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, that Tree we never hear about, and lo we live in what,

    the Information Age…hmmm]

    something else too, that i always wonder, Jesus said Death would be the last enemy, well,

    if Death is the last, then poverty, gender inequality, racism, war, would have to be ended first, before, if Death is the last…
    if it was just Death, then, it would be Death first then all the others….and then the no male no female [and i concur with Mary, i think androngenous is a vacuum, i think that means, no favor, or no unbalance or something, because if God is both Female/Male and OUR, and i think its more than just Tri, then why would She/He make it where there is only one or something, ah dont know but anyway, lol] but the no Jew and No Greek, or in some texts no Jew and no Gentile…does that mean, there will be the ending of the split between God and Goddesses/Gods maybe????? that the ‘jealousy’ will be ended,

    possibility, i think its just way bigger, than we can figure in our minds…and why the weaving and the spinsters and the crones and the Goddesses and the Great Spirit all make so much sense to me…

    but lately i’ve been getting this prompt that we know the Goddesses but we haven’t tapped into the prayer for other womyn in the Goddess way, so during the garage sales,[on Sunday] i kept finding all these natural things, basket of straws [made into cones, etc and round bowls, these little ones], basket of leaves of all sorts, a black cricket, a candle holder with crystals, Yea exciting huh, :), all these books by African American Womyn feminist writers, Bell Hooks, Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison, Tsitsi Dangarembga, and numerous others, [i have tons of Chicano feminist writers and Asian feminist writers but i didn’t have many of the African American and African feminists other than anthologies…and they were practically given to me for free, about 100 books, for $5.00, this man just wanted to get rid of them],

    you know That MEANS SOMETHING… I studied the Ethiopian movement in college [Frederickson] and much on indigenious peoples/ethnic conflict/gender, etc…

    but anyway, the whole energy, lol, i always referred to men and polemics [esp comrades, lol, and Mary said it, i laughed when i read that, cuzz like, Yea i know but never had the words, i always called that draining of womyn’s energy as ‘the vampires’]

    and why, what you wrote and others wrote, on the Sheila Jeffreys, on Spinsters, the love and relationships between womyn, wow, i see it and i could write a book right now, it is So Awesome and Powerful and Beautiful..that separation, room of one’s own, to find self, but also that joining and coming together, that energy that is there and when you start shedding the paint,

    so that prompting makes sense, how does this tie in to Mary Winkler and Heather and millions of womyn is that patriarchy works, and thrives, on robbing energy and consumption, and ISOLATION…why sometimes just relying on faith and solitude alone without the connections to others is just as draining,

    so its important to channel positive love energy to these womyn, to all womyn, to ourselves, but something else i saw too,

    yesterday when blogging, blogging can in a way, in this cyber world, which is full of misogyny and woman hate, can be, draining, just like trying to work for change among ‘comrades’ if you know what i mean, so when you blog, or post to create awareness, its really essential that you look to positive healing blogs and post on the power of womyn too…

    to counteract that negative energy that pulls on us, because this work, advocacy for womyn and going to WAR because it is a WAR, against the system and perpetuation and spiritual harm of Patriarchy, can pull us down, in ways we are not aware of…its a slow cancer of sorts,

    if there is unbalance, thats something else the Goddesses have been really showing me, the whole realm of Balance and the significance of the Tri, lean just to one and eventually you start to shrivel up, a flower needs sun, water, and nutrients from Mother Earth, not just sun, or just water…

    why i go after hours of writing or reading on so much oppression to several sites that are just about gardening or nature or science or crafts, but i see now, that its important too, to give back, beauty because there are some of these blogs here, that give so much, beauty, and that can be draining after a while, just as blogs that report on the abuses,

    so its important to stop in once in a while and give back the beauty and encouragement, even to those blogs where thats all they do, back and forth, spin, spin,

    its hard though because [and this i relate to why my blog is hard for many to read because much of my working out is anger and the ugly reality of oppression but the intent is to find the lotus under it all and i know its there and i already am seeing it–not to forget the ugly, pain, no, to see both so we can battle and help pull up our sisters, advocacy and down out right front line battle]

    but its hard because these realities, Mary and Heather, are legion, the suffering is legion, why i think its important to be aware of the energy, and seek the wisdom/discernment, and channel that energy to these womyn and to each other, which is FAR MORE POWERFUL THAN ALL THE WEAPONS AND SPEARS THE MISOGYNISTS THROW AT US…even if it doesn’t feel that way…it hurts, it hurts like hell but it hurts too, because of the isolation, the despair,

    i think we are on the verge, of something huge, global, and i see it in the Middle East, in Asia, in Balkans, in Europe, in Americas, in Russia, in Australia, in US,

    womyn, consciousness, woman identified consciousness even if that aspect isn’t so much apparent in the media or on the web….ITS THERE,

    its growing, and its becoming more powerful, why the war and the attacks against womyn is increasing…

    they attack, because they know, they are losing their place, of power, the lords of death and hate, are losing, we are in a warfare sisters, kid yourselves not, all of us are,

    in the personal and political and yes, spiritual. i see this in working through my own demons and facing ugliness in my life and yes, in myself, shedding that paint..healing and reclaiming soul that has been shred to pieces…but not destroyed, you can’t destroy energy…it either lives in hate or in love, positive or negative in the extremes, or something like that…

    i am setting this day to pray for both Mary and Heather, for the Goddesses to intervene, for Jesus to intervene, for Love to intervene, for Justice to intervene, even if it doesn’t seem that way at first, and we must continue to fight and resist and to hold each other up,

    not in some false happity do dah optimist belief, no, suffering is real, life can suck, if you have read my blog you know, i’m in no way some la di da optimist, working to not be a pessimist [though in ways thats been my strength too not that its good just saying it]

    but as warriors, we take the blows, the piercings, but we keep going, we may have to rest, but we keep going, we have too…but what we need to do, those of us, who are of able,
    is channel all we can, within wisdom, channeling energy wisely, to the fallen warriors, and help pick them up, and get them medical attention, just like in any battlefield..

    see we have for too long, done the opposite, we see the wounded and we say, oh they are wounded then we go on, leaving them there….not talking in the physical [cuzz like we can’t fly everywhere and rescue] but in the spiritual, seriously,

    even if its just a thought, thats energy [to those of you who are atheist which is cool, cuzz i theorize on that as well, i don’t break out in hives either way, lol]

    and if things go to hell, for them, we KEEP channeling, and to each other…the bad and the good, balance, this is what Morrigan is showing me, i’m sharing it here…why i know i found those things on Sunday, found many things and they were just put there, and didn’t cost me hardly anything [and btw, thats still priviledge, why i do share, cuzz i know what its like to not have computer and time and any thing so what is given is not mine, its for all of us]

    it is my intent with this long drawn out post [sorry] to encourage each and every one of you, as you have done for me…to give back, even if what i write sounds a little ‘out there’,

    i know, we are facing some dark times, and why i know, for some reason but i know, so much in my life and what i’m facing [and most days i’m a wreck o.k. and my life is a fricking mess] but i’ve gained spiritual strength, even in the midst of some of the worst depression and i mean depression that is suicidal, this is what i’ve battled over years…and i’m seeing all the weaving and how many times the Goddesses have intervened and its all sort of coming together for a purpose…

    and i know i’m not the only one, not some special case here or some guru, all that i know is part of thousands of other womyn, in past, present, and in future, and some men too, and some of me,

    this is what i mean by Warfare, we have to learn now, how to battle as a team, as a unit, not in the patriarchial way, no, not what i’m saying…but how nature is interlinked, one doesn’t live without dependence or interdependence from the other, the winds are linked to the oceans to the rivers to the sands to the mountains to the snows to the rain to the sun to the heat to the fields to the sky, to the birds to the insects to the animals to humanity, etc etc etc,

    they are not one unit alone and only alone, though they are their own special force and place, they are all connected, as so are we, that life force,

    and the birds,

    all share the same sky, under the stars, the Queen of the Heavens, Stars, Planets and Galaxies.

    all linked by the force, of LOVE.

    With Love to you all, to Mary, to Heather, to Malalai, Azar, to all the Warriors, Advocates, Writers, Mothers, Sisters, Brothers,


    Posted by Tasha | June 6, 2007, 6:15 pm
  7. Tasha, much more to say in response, but just this for now. A cool woman, might as well say who, Carolyn Gage, once said to me she believes that if radical feminists do not enter into some form of spirituality, they often become bullies. I have observed this. Your comment is right in sync with something I have been planning to post about the Goddess, goddess spirituality, connections it is essential to make to create any sort of life-giving revolution. I will write more, but just this for now.

    Robin Morgan said that a central reason for feminist revolution is that all women deserve to have and to enjoy a Great Love. Real Love. Which isn’t possible so long as we are counted as less than human.

    Well, I’ll be back.

    Posted by womensspace | June 6, 2007, 7:59 pm
  8. Thanks for the attorney’s address, Heart. I think Mary Winkler needs to hear from people who think she’s the best thing those little girls have going for them.

    Posted by Cheryl | June 7, 2007, 2:19 am
  9. How fascinating that rather than acknowledge and atone for their son’s horrific behavior, the parents are trying to completely decimate what is left of Mary Winkler’s life and family.

    Please let whatever shreds of hope still remain in our justice system rescue these girls from being cast back into such a cruel environment.

    Posted by gingermiss | June 7, 2007, 3:10 am
  10. ***if radical feminists do not enter into some form of spirituality, they often become bullies. I have observed this.***

    Yeah. Just wanted to highlight this and chime in with agreement.

    Posted by Branjor | June 7, 2007, 11:52 am
  11. Only the annihilation of the institution of marriage that provides men 24/7 access to women in privacy and the priveledge/entitlement that it cultivates in men from birth will end male assault on women. If men can no longer have legal access to women, or cultural binding grants (fiances/dating) there will be less assault on women, along with the annihilation of femicide which artificially raises the male population which should normally be around 40% or less. Of course you have men complaining about these institutions occassionally, and even blaming them on women, that somehow women -need- access to men in isolation (marriage) instead of working together communally which is natural for women, men have created marriage. They have created the legal enslavement and isolation of women to artificially create their need just like femicide has artificially raised the male:female ratio.

    It’s annoying.

    Posted by Kiuku | June 7, 2007, 4:02 pm
  12. I also was moved by Mary Winkler’s testimony, which I watched for days. I believed her, especially when they found all that trash on his computer, showing the same anal rapes he did to her. He also told her not to worry about rough anal sex, because “they have surgical procedures to repair you, if you get hurt.” You could hear audible gasps in the courtroom. And that’s all I needed to hear.

    We all know the truth. Thank you for reminding us.

    Posted by Daisy | June 7, 2007, 9:37 pm
  13. and That is why i have no respect for the system…with That knowledge, why in the hell the courts or social services even would allow the children to even Be in the care of the man’s family,

    just defies common sense. but then again, hell, right Across the street from me, social services/and the system let this drug dealer alcoholic woman and her husband take in two kids from another meth head [one whom they dealt too btw] as temp foster parents,

    yea cuzz they cleaned up the house real nice…so like obviously they have to be good people,

    never mind that as soon as he got out of jail [and he was being investigated for child neglect/drug use, and some other shit] the woman and her husband were partying with him just two weeks later,

    right across the street from us. [why i fucking hate the system with a passion–its so corrupt its not even funny and yea, sure, they are bogged down, but its also a lot of the use of the system to push ‘conformity’ to a patriarchial and misogynist mentality]

    read Michael Parenti’s “Democracy for the Few” on how the system really works,

    why you see cases like Mary all the time…but you know she’s white and she’s a preacher’s wife so the media got a hold of it, but in our prisons today, there are majority of womyn of color,

    EVERY DAMN DAY IN THIS NATION, in the same boat, same situ as Mary, and whose kids are turned over to the families of the husbands, many of them with the drugs and abuse even in the nuclear family,

    and you never hear about them. But the System knows they are there and why they are there…

    like 80% of womyn in prison are there for economic crimes and crimes of self-defense…economic crimes including being pimped out by ole hubby dearest.

    and the most horrid thing is that regardless of what the law says, rape by a spouse/partner is still looked upon is society as ‘not being real rape’, and That lies so much at the heart of the case here,
    esp in that in the Christian faith, there is that whole thing about ‘your body not being your own’ crap…and the churches drive that into womyn’s heads. [same thing in Islam, why a man can legally beat his wife if she refuses sex for whatever reason…why one Islamic immigrant community in CO where the cops were being called out every single night, for a domestic violence or child beating, when they tried to explain to the men [these were mostly from Somalia and other parts of North Africa, this community] that you can’t do that here, the First thing these men asked was, “you mean i can’t beat her if she refuses sex” cuzz like that was just like an outrage to them…

    and in the Christian faith men use that ‘the marriage bed is undefiled’ which is often the excuse they use for violent rape…

    it horrifies me to think these children may be given over to his family, makes me wonder what kind of sex abuse or tolerance of sex abuse goes on in that home and it really infuriates me that social services isn’t like on their asses like a fly on shit.

    let me guess, they are ‘pillars in the community’…


    Posted by Tasha | June 8, 2007, 3:42 am
  14. Thanks for the address, Heart. I’m licking the stamp for a letter to Mary c/o Mr. Farese right now. I hope that she takes solace in the fact that she does have supporters, though I know it must be cold comfort in the face of her daughers’ absence and her in-laws’ scorn.

    Posted by justicewalks | June 8, 2007, 6:36 pm
  15. Thanks, justicewalks, I know it will mean a lot to her to know she has support.

    She was just sentenced to three years in prison, but will only serve 210 days of it, seven months.

    Let’s see what her attorneys do, I guess.

    I don’t think she should have done one day. You should see the woman-hating comments about this I am getting. Spam, spam, spam and spam they will never see the light of day. A clue for the haters: pastors do not have free reign to batter, abuse, rape and sexually assault their wives.


    Posted by womensspace | June 8, 2007, 7:29 pm
  16. According to this news story, she might only have to serve one more week in jail.
    Mary Winkler must serve at least 210 days of her sentence but gets credit for the 143 days she has already spent in jail, Judge Weber McCraw said.

    That leaves 67 days, and McCraw said up to 60 days of the sentence could be served in a facility where she could receive mental health treatment. That means Winkler might spend only another week in jail.

    Posted by Aletha | June 9, 2007, 6:31 am
  17. Aletha, I hope that’s true.

    Posted by Violet Socks | June 11, 2007, 3:15 am
  18. We were very moved by Mary Winkler’s plight, seen on “Dateline” last night. We would like Mary to know that she is not guilty in our eyes and that she and her attorneys must fight tooth and nail to regain custody of her children. We would like to e.mail Mary of our support, but do not have her address. Is anyone able to help?

    Posted by Petrina Yeatts | July 10, 2007, 9:27 pm
  19. ***That leaves 67 days, and McCraw said up to 60 days of the sentence could be served in a facility where she could receive mental health treatment. That means Winkler might spend only another week in jail.***

    That is a scary development. If they find something “mentally wrong” with her, which they will probably try their darnedest to do, they could keep her there forever, under lock and key, beyond the 67 days left of her actual sentence. She would be safer spending the time in jail.

    Posted by Branjor | July 10, 2007, 10:32 pm
  20. Plus, she could kiss the idea of ever regaining custody of her daughters goodbye.

    Posted by Branjor | July 10, 2007, 10:41 pm
  21. Judge says Winkler can start supervised visits with her daughters.

    Posted by E. K. "Kitty" Glendower | September 20, 2007, 4:54 pm
  22. That is fantastic news. I needed that after hearing about Megan Williams’ arrest. I still haven’t processed that one.

    Posted by justicewalks | September 20, 2007, 5:18 pm


  1. Pingback: The Crone Speaks - June 8, 2007

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  3. Pingback: Mary Winkler Finally Freed | Aktif Blog | Blogdan Al Haberi - August 17, 2007

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