rape apologistsindividuals also say that getting clear consent before gettin’-it-on is a “mood-killer”, and one of them stated “unless a woman is chanting “Yes’ over and over for hours without interruption . . . . any woman can then claim withdrawal of consent.”
And that’s when it hit me — my fool-proof solution to the thorny issue of “consent”:
1) Get a clear “yes” from your partner before engaging in sex AND 2) BECOME A BETTER LOVER
See, I’ve never really thought of it as a problem if my lover was chanting (or screaming) YES! YES! YES! “over and over for hours without interruption” during sex. (“Don’t Stop!” and “Keep doing whatever it is you’re doing!” also do not disturb me in the slightest.)
She’s also got a good post up exploring mutuality and equality in intimate relationships. An excerpt:
I’m not saying that this has not changed over my lifetime. The strictness of gender-roles has definitely shifted over the years. I’m just saying: It’s not gone yet.
…It’s been my experience that these days, while people are single, they (usually) realize that they are responsible to fulfill their own needs and optional imperatives. This hasn’t always been the case — a friend of mine who is now in her early 60s once said, when I asked her why she married immediately after High School: “Well, it was just what you did. You couldn’t hope to make it on your own”.
That’s why I’m often shocked to hear my enlightened, evolved, feminist friends having some kind of weird argument with their spouse about who is “supposed” to vacuum under the sofa/screw down the loose bolt on the shaky front stairs railing based on a status-quo rendering of “gender-appropriate” roles.