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Pre-2008 Posts

Today’s Male Terrorism: Exploiting and Pornifying the Brutal Murder of Emily Sander

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Emily Sander

Police have found the body of the beautiful,  intelligent young woman above, a college student.  She was murdered, her body dumped like so much trash alongside U.S. 54 near El Dorado, Texas.

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Israel Mireles

They are looking for the man with whom she was last seen, pictured above, because they found substantial quantities of blood in his motel room.  The guy’s name is Israel Mireles, he’s 24 and he is on the run with his 16-year-old pregnant girlfriend.  His rental car was found abandoned in his home town in Texas, where his family lives.  Police have interviewed his family members and they’re apprently protecting him, saying nothing, as the families of suspected murderers of young women like Emily Sander often do.  They are rarely criticized for this because of the substantial free-floating hatred of women like Emily– she is young, white, beautiful, intelligent, a college student.   She probably asked for it.  She probably deserved it.   She is eminently, eminently expendable.  Aren’t beautiful young women born to be exploited,  used, thrown away?

When I look at this sweet face, I “see” her mom, eating carefully while she was expecting, reading the baby books, anticipating Emily’s birth.  I see the baby girl in her cradle with her pink receiving blankets and musical mobile, with her Binky and her “bankie”.  I see the baby book recording Emily’s first smile, first word, first tooth, first boo-boo.  I see the little Kindergartner on her first day of school with her backpack and school supplies, her fear and her bravery.  I see the Brownie selling Girl Scout Cookies, the daughter helping her mom set the table or carry in the groceries, the youngster wrapping homemade Christmas gifts, caring for her kitties, decorating her bedroom, writing notes to her girlfriends.  I see the slumber parties, summer jobs, homework, school dances and parties, first love, first broken heart.  I see her in her cap and gown at her high school graduation with her family in attendance where her mom cried and wondered what happened to the baby girl in the cradle and where did all the years go.  I see the college catalogs, the applications, the kisses goodbye and then off to college, the dreaming of big dreams.

It’s all over now for Emily, and in ways which cannot be enumerated or measured, it’s all over, too, for her mother and for all who loved her.  She was brutally murdered, her blood splattered and smeared across the anonymity of some god-forsaken motel room.

The news coverage of this murder is disgusting and disgraceful.  It brings into stark clarity the way this world hates young women.  Emily Sander was  no “porn star.”  Whatever photos she may have put up of herself on the internet, whatever money misogynist creeps paid to see them, none of it has anything at all to do with the fact that a man butchered her.  This should not serve as a warning to other women.  This is not a cautionary tale.  This is not about the bad woman getting her just desserts while onlookers peep and mutter like the fools and haters they are.  The zeal to sensationalize and pornify this senseless hate crime is nauseating and horrifying.

May the man who butchered Emily Sander come to justice.  May someone in his family display some evidence of conscience, for god’s sake, find an attorney willing to help, and urge him to turn himself in.  As to Emily’s family, I wish they could bring lawsuits against each and every one of the newspapers and “journalists”  so-called and publications which have turned their daughter’s senseless, hideous murder into a source of titillation for misogynists, haters, pornographers, and sadists everywhere.  What disgusts me most of all is, such a lawsuit is probably not even possible.  The pornifying of a young woman, including the pornifying of her brutal murder, is just so much free speech.  Most people would say with a straight face that she brought it on herself.

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18 thoughts on “Today’s Male Terrorism: Exploiting and Pornifying the Brutal Murder of Emily Sander

  1. This is so sad. How dare this murderer think he can ever justify his action by making an object. Seeing her photo brings the horror home. She looks so on the verge of a new life. She was so young.
    I hope there will be justice for her family.

    Posted by Rebecca | November 30, 2007, 7:10 pm
  2. Irrespective of the young woman’s social position this young was cruelly murdered by a man. But of course given the increasing misogny and porn culture it is no wonder porners and women-haters have written lies about her life. However, this is ‘free speech’ and not promotion of women-hatred. Now if it was promotion of men-hatred there would be an outcry but unfortunately women are increasingly perceived as simply expendible sexual objects. No need to question why this man thought he was entitled to murder a woman oh no far better to blame women for men’s violence. Just shows all women according to the porners and misognysts are responsible for male sexual and physical violence against women. Class, race, ethnicity, etc. can all be used against women who are murdered by men. If a woman’s class isn’t responsible for her murder, then it was her race, if not her race, then her sexual orientation. Easy isn’t it – a one size fits all women – namely simply being a woman means women NOT men are responsible for male violence against women. Of course this neatly excuses men’s accountability. But we are constantly told feminists hate men – oh yes and women are murdering men in huge numbers!

    Posted by jennifer drew | November 30, 2007, 8:16 pm
  3. You’re right This is so typical. Men seem to believe they have an inherent entitlement to control women. In the absence of that, there’s always murder.

    (sigh) I wish it was different but it hasn’t changed in my lifetime.

    Posted by thailandchani | November 30, 2007, 8:53 pm
  4. “Men seem to believe they have an inherent entitlement to control women.”

    Yes thailandchani, this is exactly right. We have to find ways to get the majority i.e. women, to really get out of this mindset. I think conformity to male control is something a lot of women just shrug off. Like poverty, they get stuck in it.
    If there is no place to go every day where you aren’t around strong women who don’t obey men at all, it’s hard to figure out how you would do this.

    If you’re blind, how do you understand color? If you’re deaf, how do you know what sound is? If you’re a fish, how do you know there is a world out there called dry land?

    There is so much “entertainment” out there that uses the killing of women as its text. “Silence of the Lambs” being an infamous example of this. Women get killed all the time on T.V. sex crimes, pornographic killing scenes in popular novels.

    This is worldwide. What we can do to combat this is to be more and more involved in helping each other create a world that works. Communication networks help. We have to see ourselves as a majority, who can create a new reality for all women.

    We have to encourage the men to educate each other out of sexism, and girl hatred. Men who are enlightened to a degree can help model what this looks like for other men.
    Now I must admit, I don’t want to do the men educating work. Let other women who have belief in this work do it.

    Let us all honestly create spaces of feminist and sisterhood connection here. Let us also tell how we succeeded at things too. We can have too much atrocity feminism, and that can make you feel as if we are not accomplishing as much as we are.

    I know the world is a lot better for me, than it was in 1975, for example. I did see the results of activism in my own lifetime, and I have a million times more self-confidense than when I was younger.

    I learned the patterns of behavior, and how to outwit the oppressors. I learned that most people most of the time are loyal to their tribe or family, but have a hard time going out to create new social connections or networks.

    We can model life that is vastly different. We get a glimpse of this when we hear a Lorenna McKinnett song, or when we see a film clip of “The Mists of Avalon.”

    I felt this late this morning, as I looked out my kitchen window and saw beautiful blooming poinsettas– red with green leaves, and enchanting raindrops on their leaves. All the red poinsettas were leaning over into our yard, and my partner said they were trying to escape the mean neighbors next door who butchered all the plants and trees in their yard when they moved in.

    The red poinsettas somehow made me feel that all creatures yearn for freedom and love. My partner took her camera outside, and as the rain gently fell on us, and I held down a branch just a little, the perfect picture was snapped in three tries. We’ll now take this picture and use it to illustrate a blog site she’s working on.

    Beauty is above all the recognition that in the moment we are free and liberated people. It is human happiness that ultimately will empower women to rise to their own dreams both grand and simple. It’s as simple as looking out a kitchen window on a rainy day! 🙂

    Posted by Satsuma | November 30, 2007, 9:32 pm
  5. The police have said that the publicity resulting from finding out about Sanders’ publishing nude photos of herself actually hindered the investigation into her murder.

    Pro-porners are such damned ghouls.

    Posted by Miranda | November 30, 2007, 9:40 pm
  6. heart, thank you for blogging about this. i was horrified, though not surprised, that following the discovery that emily might have participated in some kind of internet pornography all the headlines changed from “missing college student” to “missing nude internet porn star.”

    so sick, and so wrong.😦

    Posted by ladoctorita | November 30, 2007, 11:03 pm
  7. I’m wondering (no seriously, guesstimate with me) how long it will take before “rape kill fantasies” are defended. Women collecting en masse (feministing, Bitchphd, pandagon, feminste, etc…) to assure everyone they find pleasure and joy in the sexualization of their own death.
    Then police won’t even have to worry with their half-assed investigations–all “murders” of women will be considered assisted suicide (which will become legal once more).

    Can we, as radfems, not use words like “want” and “consent” for, I dunno, another 1,000 years? Right now it has F$$$-all to do with us and I’m really tired of such concepts being thrown around.

    My heart goes out to Emily Sanders and her loved ones.

    Posted by pisaquaririse | November 30, 2007, 11:39 pm
  8. Isn’t the murder of a woman the real crime?!

    Posted by Satsuma | December 1, 2007, 12:29 am
  9. :(************
    So so so hideously sad.
    :(** :(*** :(****
    Jennifer Drew you make excellent points.

    Posted by Jeyoani | December 1, 2007, 3:01 am
  10. -Can we, as radfems, not use words like “want” and “consent” for, I dunno, another 1,000 years? Right now it has F$$$-all to do with us and I’m really tired of such concepts being thrown around. –

    Same here. We can use the terms ‘want’ and ‘consent’ when women have decent things to ‘want’ and ‘consent’ to.

    It should also be noted that ‘want’ and ‘consent’ are not the same fucking thing. One may ‘consent’ out of fear, desperation, hunger, exhaustion etc. but it does not amount to ‘want’. Patriarchy likes to consider the two the same thing. Don’t be fooled.

    That poor young woman.

    Posted by Laurelin | December 1, 2007, 6:02 pm
  11. Jeyoani, Jennifer makes a habit of excellent points.😀

    This young womyn hardly seemed like a *porn star*, it looks as if she may have uploaded some naked pictures, but that is hardly *porn stardom* as the salivating malestream press are trying to make out.

    It is doubtful that there is a direct connection between Ms Sander uploading a few naked photos and her murder. However, there is the indirect connection.

    Men have corrupted nudity, porn being about power and the ‘done to’. The wholesale slaughter of females is the continuum of this male power-trip. Death, a natural cycle, men have co-opted into this power-trip (murder made sexxay).

    How many more young wimmin just like Ms Sander need to be slaughtered before male entitlement is questioned?

    May she now rest in peace.

    Posted by stormy | December 1, 2007, 7:24 pm
  12. It’s completely normal, now, for young women to upload naked pictures. However, there is nothing wrong with nakedness. Men make it (-women’s- nakedness) wrong. At the same time women are socialized to do what is “wrong” and to be “sex objects”. Guess who I blame? It’s really sickening. Her face is the wet dream of misogynists everywhere because it is so pornified. Pretty and young and female seems to be justification for rape and murder by men.

    Posted by Kiuku | December 1, 2007, 8:33 pm
  13. ***When I look at this sweet face, I “see” her mom, eating carefully while she was expecting, reading the baby books, anticipating Emily’s birth. I see the baby girl in her cradle with her pink receiving blankets and musical mobile, with her Binky and her “bankie”. I see the baby book recording Emily’s first smile, first word, first tooth, first boo-boo. I see the little Kindergartner on her first day of school with her backpack and school supplies, her fear and her bravery. I see the Brownie selling Girl Scout Cookies, the daughter helping her mom set the table or carry in the groceries, the youngster wrapping homemade Christmas gifts, caring for her kitties, decorating her bedroom, writing notes to her girlfriends. I see the slumber parties, summer jobs, homework, school dances and parties, first love, first broken heart. I see her in her cap and gown at her high school graduation with her family in attendance where her mom cried and wondered what happened to the baby girl in the cradle and where did all the years go. I see the college catalogs, the applications, the kisses goodbye and then off to college, the dreaming of big dreams.***

    Tears. Just…tears.

    RIP Emily.

    Posted by Branjor | December 1, 2007, 11:47 pm
  14. I am an Ex Kansas girl and grew up in the area where she was found. I can not believe that the media turned this into the murdered porn star instead of the monster killer. This poor child lost her life and her parents, siblings, family, etc have to find a way to get on now. Just let them have their memories. It is hard being young and this little girl got robbed by a monster. Shame on the media. As the mother of 4 little girls, just let her be.

    Dana Harris

    Posted by Dana | December 3, 2007, 6:18 pm
  15. Here’s another lovely (hah!) story: gang rape of KBR employee by other KBR employees. American citizen then has to be rescued by State Department from her American employer and they cannot be prosecuted for the rape because it took place in Iraq (yes, it’s complicated):
    http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/121007A.shtml

    Posted by profacero | December 11, 2007, 12:06 am
  16. That is terribly sad.

    Posted by April | December 11, 2007, 7:40 am
  17. “Man Arrested in Killing of Internet Porn Star” is what the link said to this article which originally was titled “Man Arrested in Killng of Porn Star”:

    http://news.aol.com/story/_a/man-arrested-in-death-of-secret-porn/20071219141109990003

    This is unacceptable. Even within the article it refers to the victim with her “porn name.”

    Posted by kiuku | December 19, 2007, 11:41 pm

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