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Pre-2008 Posts

The Way Men Hate Lesbians


I received an update from V . Kingsley this morning, a Michfest homeschooling sister unschooling her son, Parker, whom I’ve blogged about before.  She sent links to her documentary describing how she made her latest quilt, San Lorenzo Egrets, above, which now belongs to her oncologist.  

V mentioned unhappy news recently posted to  her blog.  I visited and what I read is excerpted below:

Below is the way condensed (and, in my opinion, way downplayed) public version – in her own words – of what happened to a dear, dear friend of ours. You may have met her at Michfest last year … I have not been able to sleep easily – I have not been able to shake my worry. This woman is one of the increasingly small group of butches who have chosen to keep their women’s bodies. That she should be injured (her soul as much – if not more – as her fractured skull) is frightening to me on so many levels. Keep her in your hearts, please.


The Incident

So I am sure a lot of you already know and a lot more are wondering what the hell happened. Here is the Reader’s Digest version:

Myself and 4 other friends were involved in what became a hate crime incident in San Francisco on Saturday Night/Sunday Morning. We were leaving a club and were involved in an altercation between the 5 of us and 4 men who had said a number of offensive and inappropriate things to us while leaving the club. We were assaulted and I was hit with a Patron Tequila bottle on the side of the head. We all had a number of scrapes and bruises and I have a minor skull fracture behind my left eye and a very purple ear, however there were no other serious injuries.

Two of the 4 men were apprehended and are being held on multiple counts of assault and hate crimes. The one who hit me with the bottle is being charged with assault with a deadly weapon. I was admitted to the emergency room and after a number of uncomfortable hours was released with no serious injuries.

I have decided to move forward with pressing charges and am willing to admit I am scared, but know it is the right thing to do. WE ARE ALL SAFE AND HEALTHY. I am putting this out because as the story trickles through the grape vine it grows and I want everyone to know we are well and although shaken and with damaged spirits we are doing very well and are probably all a lot closer as a result.

I ask that you keep us in your prayers and in your thoughts as we move through our own healing that is beyond the bruises, its now about healing our sense of safety and vulnerability and about gathering the strength to move forward with the incident.

Thank you for all of the support, you are all beautiful and I appreciate you beyond measure.


I’ve e-mailed V. asking her to let me know what kind of help L or the other women might need and will post any updates she sends to me.

I have heard so many stories like this, particularly since becoming part of the Michfest community– lesbian women, in particular, gender nonconforming lesbians, describing vicious, brutal attacks they have experienced through the years.  In most cases, the perpetrators are never brought to justice.  In all cases, the sole reason for the brutality is that these are women who love women and who dare to resist gender, who defy all of the rules and regulations by way of which male heterosupremacy attempts to police the appearance, presentation, behavior, and intimate life of female persons.   Most people are completely unaware of these hate crimes, until and unless a woman or girl is killed, as Sakia Gunn was, or unless and until, as with the New Jersey 4, they dare to defend themselves. 

I will be lighting a candle for L and for my Michfest sisters harmed by this attack.  Thanks, V, for letting us know.


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5 thoughts on “The Way Men Hate Lesbians

  1. Thanks for this, Heart.

    I didn’t know about Sakia Gunn. I googled her up and found a wealth of articles, including a utube clip. All love surround her. She now lives in my heart.

    Posted by Mary Sunshine | January 14, 2008, 6:04 pm
  2. Thanks for telling me about the youtube, Mary, so powerful. I made a new post for it.

    Posted by womensspace | January 14, 2008, 6:32 pm
  3. I don’t understand why we don’t hear about these incidents when they happen. Why isn’t this news?

    Posted by Jazz | January 14, 2008, 11:03 pm
  4. I used to have far more trouble with these kinds of men when I was younger. The pigs are out there, and straight women are lining up to marry them! Straight people against gay and lesbian marriage? Well I’m against women marrying men period, and then living in denial about what their “man” is really up to in the world.

    Posted by Satsuma | January 15, 2008, 7:19 am
  5. These days all women should walk around carrying Machettes. There are too many bitter jelous men walking around. Not all are this way we know but there are enough that most all women should take up a defense against losers such as these. This incident did end up in the news paper but was given a tiny section because the paid Macys advertisment were more important than this hate incident. Bitter homophobes will continue to mess things up for all men until after a while all of them will become obsolite when more women relise that most men see them as nothing more than sex objects and when they dont fit ject into that sexual object box, they get mad at women who refuses to stay in this costraining box. Taking it out on Les women is only going to make more women to see how misoginistic and intitled most men may be. Attacking randow women is not going to make women go back in that box. Infact its only making all Women leave that box and burn the box:) if you encounter a hater, dont feed them your energy.

    Posted by Jewel | February 25, 2013, 1:44 pm

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